BO SCHEMBECHLER SPEAKS

There's two people connected to the Michigan Athletic Department that tell it like it is - Rich Maloney and Bo Schembechler.

It's not always good when Bo opens his trap, i.e. saying the Michigan basketball coach will never make more than the football coach, which effectively scared away Rick Pitino.

But at 77 years old, this guy really just doesn't give a fuck. Check out some choice comments from a recent Free Press article:

"We don't need Notre Dame. They need us more than we need them."

"Hell, we're playing all these Big Ten teams. When Penn State came into the league, then we should do everything we can to get this Notre Dame series over with."

On Lloyd Carr wanting a playoff: "He's just talking. It sounds good. He doesn't want a playoff. I'll speak for him. He doesn't want a playoff."

"Can you believe what Bill Martin is doing to Michigan Stadium? The hell with him..."

OK, maybe that last one was made up...

BOBBY ABREU'S FIANCEE

We're not sure how to start this post...

Basically, we started talking about how much we loved "Temptation Island." The exchange between Billy and Mandy is one of the greatest reality show moments in history. While talking about this, someone mentioned that New York Yankees star Bobby Abreu went through a similar situation.

It sounds like bullshit. But it's not. Apparently, Abreu's fiancee went on a Mexican reality show and boned some sleeze bag. Of course, it's now on You Tube.

We've never liked Abreu - he's always seemed lazy. But you gotta feel for a guy after seeing something like this (by the way, Mexican TV is raunchy):

WE BETTER BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IOWA...

Every year, Iowa's Kirk Ferentz competes for the Big Ten title with inferior talent. This year it appears he is just mocking other Big Ten coaches with the lack of talent he is putting on the playing field. Check out Iowa's defensive line (from left: Alex Kanellis, Matt Kroul, Mitch King and Bryan Mattison).

Ferentz, you bastard!

GREATEST/WORST THING EVER

Find out which celebrity you live near!

WILLIE WILLIAMS UPDATE

Did you honestly think we had forgotten about the best linebacker in the country - Willie Williams?

As of Saturday, the AP was reporting Willie could be headed to Troy of all places:

Linebacker Willie Williams is in discussions with Troy University in Alabama about possibly transferring there after receiving permission from the University of Miami to do so, a Troy official said Friday night.

Ricky Hazel, the sports information director for Troy, said the school is interested in Williams and that UM on Thursday told Troy it would release Williams from his Miami scholarship to play there. Hazel said Troy defensive coordinator Jeremy Rowell has spoken with Williams and those discussions will continue.

''We're working on it,'' Hazel said.
UM spokesman Rick Korch said Williams has not told UM where he will transfer, but that he has been given permission to transfer to Troy, which could give Williams a scholarship.

For a guy that gained fame from writing about getting wined, dined and 69ed from all the major college football programs, this would be a very disappointing pick.

Obviously, Lloyd Carr is still one phone call away from bringing Willie to Ann Arbor, but time is running out ...

We love you Willie!

JOE LUNARDI: MAD BRACKETOLOGIST

From the same network that just broke down the entire 2007 Playoffs comes Bracketology in August.

Predicting NCAA Tournament teams before the season is one thing. Projecting match-ups, Last Four In and Last Four Out is just insanity.

This is what you will eventually stumble upon after reading Andy Katz's Michigan preview. Apparently, Joe Lunardi has a lot of time on his hands.

Rest easy Michigan fans - the Wolverines are going to make their first NCAA Tournament in 9 years in 2007 (that's right, start booking the tickets to New Orleans). But there won't be much time for celebration - Michigan is getting a (9) seed, and a tough first-round draw against perennial giant-killer Southern Illinois.

Even worse, if Michigan survives, they'll have to face Big Baby and the Bengals in the Bayou. That seems pretty unfair - it's a good thing we have 6 months to bitch about it. Go Blue.


Joe: Put the bracket down ...

REMEMBERING WHY WE LOVE THE NFL...

A little part of the NFL dies each time someone writes about Terrell Owens.

With round-the-clock coverage on how T.O. is getting along with his teammates and Bill Parcells or pulling his hamstring, it's getting really easy to forget why we love the NFL.


Luckily, I found two clips that bring those old feelings rushing back, even in August...

REALEST OF THE WEEK

As someone that's been arrested for urinating in public, I've got a soft spot for guys out there like Red Berenson that have been brought up on the same charges.

But my heart really goes out to former "Up Close" host and ESPN field reporter, Gary Miller. You remember him: he was the guy with the shit-eating grin stuck on his face.

Well check out what happened to Miller in between games of the 1997 ALCS between the Indians and Orioles.

From the AP:

CLEVELAND - ESPN's Gary Miller, a host for the cable sports network's "Baseball Tonight," was arrested Saturday and charged with urinating out the window of a Cleveland nightclub onto off-duty police officers.

Miller, 40, of Branford, Conn., was arrested at about 1:30 a.m. at The Basement, a popular dance club in Cleveland's Flats neighborhood. He was charged with public indecency, aggravated disorderly conduct and resisting arrest, police Sgt. Mark Hastings said...

Hastings said Miller was seen urinating out an upstairs window at The Basement. Two undercover officers were sprayed with urine, Hastings said.

The R. Kelly of sports?

THE END OF AN ERA

It's with a heavy heart I break news that Cavaliers' play-by-play guy Michael Reghi has been fired. Apparently, owner Dan Gilbert decided to whack him in favor of Pistons play-by-play man Fred McLeod, a personal friend of Gilbert's.

Whether he was screaming "WINE AND GOLD!" and thinking of new lines for LeBron James to get on "Sportscenter" (i.e. "Flight 23 is prepared for takeoff!"), Reghi was a doofus. But he was our doofus.

I mean, look at this guy's blog or his statement following the news: "Cleveland is my home and where my heart belongs. I've poured extreme passion into my work with the Cavaliers."

He bled whine and gold.

It's a sad day for Cavalier fans, Usher and Moondog. The Cavaliers' flag is definitely at half-mast today.


This backward shot's for you, Reghi...

HAYES GROOMS IMMORTALIZED?

We love Tommy Amaker retiring numbers left and right to turn attention away from the court. Everyone scratched their heads when we retired Bill Buntin's No. 22 last season.

Are we seeing correctly - is Hayes Grooms next? I'm serious: doesn't that guy next to him look like former Michigan AD Tom Goss?

Something fishy is going on here...

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

With the recent signings of Alex Legion and Manny Harris, things are starting to look up for the Michigan basketball program.

Then came devastating news from the NCAA yesterday:

The NIT Committee has decided to reduce the field for its postseason tournament to 32 teams. The tournament had expanded to 40 teams in 2002.

Committee Chair C.M. Newton said a study of team and fan feedback determined that the postseason tournament is best structured when composed of four eight-team regions.

"Tommy: will you appeal this decision?"

REALEST OF THE WEEK

There have been a ton of submissions for Realest of the Week in the last couple days, namely Ken Jennings and Mel Gibson. But Syracuse wide receiver Max Meisel - all 5-foot-4 of him - is a hero.

I mean, the guy got carried off the field in the Spring Game.

But it's what he did high school that must be acknowledged over 2 years later.

From the local ABC station in Weston, CT (who, unfortunately can't spell the kid's name right):

Max Miesel didn't get very far with his prom date – who's a porn star.

Max won a date with adult film actress Tyler Faith on Howard Stern's show Friday. Max is a student at Connecticut's Weston High School.

The Advocate of Stamford reports school officials and Max's parents stepped in before Saturday's prom. Max said his dream was to take a porn star to the dance. But it was dream unfulfilled.

Weston High Principal Mary Kolek says a date with a porn star violates the school's prom guidelines.

Kolek said Max would be allowed to attend – with a more appropriate date.

Really, Principal Kolek? It was in the guidelines that no porn stars are allowed at prom? We find that hard to believe...

Let's hope this story gains legs and she must answer the public's outcry over this matter...

A TRIP DOWN "MLB TRADE DEADLINE" LANE

Detroit Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski has done one of the most incredible jobs in the history of baseball, and continues to make smart moves like trading for 1B Sean Casey.

So we thought this would naturally be a perfect time to bring up the 2002 trade deadline - Dombrowski's first with the Tigers - when Dave went off and bashed the team at a season-ticket holders lunch, only to have the comments recorded and played a million times.

Our favorites:

"Craig Paquette - if you can trade him, call me tomorrow - is making $2.75 million next year."

"I love Dean Palmer... if you can trade him tomorrow, give me a call."

"Damion Easley - I love him... He's been hot. He's still not hitting .200..."

"Matt Anderson. Pretty good closer when he's healthy. Can you trade Matt Anderson tomorrow? I'd love to see you try. Again, give me a call."

"Bobby Higginson, who's a solid player. He's going to make $11.85 million next year. You try to trade him."

Easley is the only one mentioned above that is currently on an MLB roster. He's batting .233 for the Diamondbacks.

By the way, shout out to John Lowe, who made an appearance on ESPNews this afternoon to talk Tigers.

WILL JIM DUQUETTE WORK MAGIC AGAIN?

There's an hour-and-a-half left until the MLB Trade Deadline.

Note to all GMs: get Jim Duquette on the phone! As you might recall, the current VP of Baseball Operations in Baltimore is the same guy that traded away Scott Kazmir for Victor Zambrano at the 2003 deadline...

MIKEY, REALESTS SET TO HIT VEGAS

As mentioned earlier, we'll be in Vegas this weekend tracking Mikey the Chimp at the World Series of Poker. You thought we were joking? In fact, we openly challenge any other media outlet in America to send two writers to cover this story.

We'll be staying at Mandalay Bay from Thursday afternoon until Sunday night. We should arrive just hours after Mikey's press conference entering him into the tournament.

Stay tuned for full coverage of Mikey's run at immortality....

JIM BOCCHER FOUND!

Michigan's 2003 special teams is something we've all unsuccessfully suppressed from our memory. Certainly, no one's tried harder than Jim Boccher, the unit's coach at the time.

Here's a quick recap:

In the annual nonconference loss against Oregon, Big Blue allowed a punt return for a TD, a blocked punt returned for a TD, a missed extra-point, a blocked extra-point and a muffed fake punt.

Boccher topped himself by attempting a "roll-out" punt against Iowa, that was blocked and eventually lost Michigan the game.

Boccher never saw the Michigan sideline again due to "personal reasons" and hasn't been heard from since. The guy's name was even deleted from the Bentley Historical Library's page on the 2003 team.

We kept thinking back to "The Usual Suspects": "The greatest trick Jim Boccher ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist..."

But now, after three years in hiding, Boccher has been tracked down at an Ann Arbor Real Estate firm named McKinley.

A real estate guy with no clue about sports? Sounds like Michigan's next athletic director!


Zing!

BRING BACK PEDRO'S GOOD LUCK CHARM

The Mets' Pedro Martinez has been out nearly a month with a right hip inflammation. The nagging injury has puzzled us for weeks until we remembered Martinez had a falling out with his "good luck charm", Nelson de la Rosa, after signing with New York.

We say it's time for these two to settle their differences if the Mets are going to have any shot of winning this thing. Like Major League's Jo Boo, de la Rosa could sit in Pedro's locker or stand in the bullpen during warm ups.

The similarity between Jo Boo and de la Rosa is astonishing.

Basically, we just want more You Tube clips like this one:

CATCHING UP WITH: PHIL BRABBS

When you think of Michigan sports legends, certain names always pop up: Bo, Cazzie, Rudy, Red, Desmond... Brabbs.

Despite the fact he only made 3 field goals in his entire Michigan career, Brabbs will always be remembered for his game-winning 44-yard boot against Washington in the 2002 season opener. If you've ever seen Phil Brabbs kick a field goal, you know that kick was nothing short of a miracle.

Living with his wife in Midland, MI, Phil now works for Accenture. Well as you can see below, there's been another miracle in his life. That's right - Brabbs became a father this past February to a baby boy named Ocean. Congrats Phil.

First of all, we're getting really old.

Second, let's hope Ocean goes to State...

REALEST OF THE WEEK

Call us jaded, but few things actually surprise us these days. Mikey the Chimp playing in the World Series of Poker is one of them. As the New York Post said earlier this week on an unrelated topic: "You can rip ESPN for its over-the-top analysis, its boo-yahs, its self promotion, its needless graphics, its cell phones, its .... But sometimes ESPN gets it right."

Judging by this video, Mikey is about to wreck shit (make sure to watch all the way through - he really goes nuts in the final minute):



Here's another clip if you want to see him actually "playing" poker:


There will be a press conference at 2:00pm (PST) on Thursday, July 27 at the Palms Hotel, when they will officially announce he's playing in the World Series of Poker.

As you all probably know by now, we're heading to Vegas this weekend. We're now frantically trying to change our flights to make it for this presser. Stay tuned...

'M' NOTES

It's time to get back to our roots with some Michigan sports. Here's our take on the recent news out of Ann Arbor:

Is it just us, or when you hear this "Lloyd Carr got an official fired for being partially blind" story, you just keep picturing the trainer from Seabiscuit yelling: "HE'S BLIND IN ONE EYE!" ???

Amaker landed Top-50 recruit Manny Harris and then Alex Legion recommitted to Michigan - (he's still the Devil). When asked why he chose Michigan, I just want one of these kids to say: "I love what coach is doing with the swirly-finger offense..."

Michigan hockey's top recruit, Trevor Lewis, bolted for the NHL before playing a game at UM. As usual, Red Berenson tried his scare tactics with lines like: "I think (the Kings) took advantage of a kid who wasn't getting good advice..." Red, this obviously doesn't work. We think it's time Rick gets a chance to head up recruiting....

It makes us sick that we put together an All-Name Team and didn't include our own Mister Simpson. Mister: if you're reading, we'll make it up to you...

The new face of Michigan basketball