The haters are coming out of the woodwork.

As if it wasn't annoying enough to deal with the drive-by haters that leave anonymous comments on our blog (which we still publish even though you guys have no spine), now we have Goliath coming after us.

That's right. Gawker has decided to clap at The Realests. They decided to link to us and diss us at the same time - what, you didn't think we'd notice?

Well, if we were normal people faced with this situation, we'd have a few options: A) We could be ecstatic that Gawker linked to us and brush off the insult; B) We could e-mail them and see why they dissed us; or C) We could just ignore them.

Well, The Realests aren't normal people. We have only one option.

To clap back.

First, let us note what Gawker had to say about us:

"Even worse than the fresh-faced college kids who will soon be descending on our city? The only slight less fresh-faced who’ve been here a few years and now think they’re experts."

Gee, that's funny. Co-editors Jessica Coen (25) and Jesse Oxfeld (29) run "The source for daily Manhattan media news and gossip" (their words, not ours). I'd say that is a much better example of "fresh-faced kids" claiming to be NYC experts than two guys joking about harmless observations they have made in the city.

It's hard to figure out why Gawker would go at us. We're not sure, but as far as we can tell, it's pretty hypocritical. Given the fact that Gawker recently linked to a similar post (which can be found here) but chose not to slam its author, this whole thing just stinks of hypocrisy. If you read the post, you'll see that they're pretty similar - and equally as funny.

Maybe Gawker thinks that they can just bully people around because they are the big kid on the block. Maybe they've grown complacent in their throne and have gotten lazy with people spoon-feeding them all their content (coming up with original stuff must just be too taxing for them).

The rest of the blog community has shown nothing but love to us. The folks at Deadpsin have linked to us and Need4Sheed has given us some shout outs. We've even gotten love from the Detroit Free Press. We're just new-comers, gettin' on the grind, trying to build some readership. It's a shame that Gawker would flip it on us like this. We would just expect fellow bloggers to watch out for us, not stab us in the back.

So let's go blow-for-blow.

First of all, their comedy is supposed to be biting, but instead just comes off as bitching. The site seems to be run by a brat that wishes she was an heiress and some dude that tried to bring attention on himself by writing "controversial" columns for his school paper.

Yeah, we said it.

And we aren't the only ones with beef. Take a look at what Page Six had to say:

''This (Coen) is the face of snarkiness incarnate."

''Unknown outside the dork-infested waters of the blogosphere, her name is Jessica Coen, and she's the co-editor of Gawker.com, where she regurgitates newspaper and magazine stories and slathers them in supposedly witty sarcasm.

''She smiles and showers us [Page Six reporters] with sycophantic praise [in person], but her every mention of Page Six on her Web site is snide and snarky.

''Next time you see us at a party, keep walking -- or slithering. You can't be a bootlicker and a back stabber at the same time.''

Maybe it's time to stop making enemies.

It's pretty clear: You're with us, or you're with them.

If you're reading us for the first time, sorry we had to meet under such awkward circumstances. Feel free to browse through the Best of The Realests (links on the right side of the home site) to see what we're like when we're not trying to pull knives out of our back. We highly recommend Anchondo, 24: Realest Style, No More Beers, Brah, and our Super Bowl XL Running Blog.

Co-Editor Jessica Coen - we're embarassed to have graduated from the same school as you...

Co-Editor Jesse Oxfeld

Note: if you are looking for the post Gawker ripped, please look below on main site.


Anonymous said...

um, you are quite clearly fucking retards.

maybe thats why?

Anonymous said...

Dear Fake Anonymous,
You don't know me. But this is the Real Anonymous. This blog is all about being real, so what the hell are you doing posting here? DO NOT respond to this. In fact, never come here again. This blog is only big enough for one Anonymous.

Amish said...

Jessica Coen has her own Wiki? Are there that many people interested in her bio?

I bet she created that shit herself. That is SO not real.

Anonymous said...

you are a fucking idiot. your witty "observations" are about as original as saturday dinner at the olive garden. why don't you go back where you came from, d-bag.

Anonymous said...

wow, talk about biting the hand that feeds you. I would have never come to your lame-ass blog if Jesse and Jessica hadn't done you the favor of naming you you on gawker. Instead I see your really mean post about them and must consign you to the hall of shame. good bye, i like most other gawker readers will not be returning to this sad sack of a site.

Anonymous said...

The Jesse thing doesn't really seem that incriminating- it was dumb that he got fired. I actually really like Jesse.

But I agree with you about Jessica, what a fucking asshole.

Anonymous said...

So does Gawker just have pretty much one reader named Anonymous, or are those chicken shit wouldn't know funny if it crawled up their ass haters just too scared to leave their names on this "sad sack of a site"?

grow a pair, haters.

Anonymous said...

this is pathetic. you idiots don't deserve special treatment just because you live in new york city and - wonder of wonders - you write a witty blog about it. gawker has linked hundreds of blogs identical to yours, and most of their authors are smart enough to ignore the insult and be grateful for the publicity. sure, posting a pathetic declaration of war might win you even more publicity, but it also makes you look desperate. get over yourselves.

Anonymous said...

Your internationally posted blog reaches a lot more than any circle, especially linked from gawker.com. I must say that your posts are more appealing than gawker's. Their posts seem to be cookie cutter with a generated shock factor involved. Blech, .. it seems a lot of things go that route once they receive popularity. So while they're still getting their kicks out of linking to their "subordinates" or however they want you to be perceived... you are the ones that have heart, originality, and appeal...... thx for standing up for your "mom and pop" website, f*ck the corporate pigs :)

Anonymous said...

Heather, a gawker staffer links blogs. Not Jessie or Jessica. they edit the site. Every time I get linked I touch myself. It's awesome!

Anonymous said...


MyNameIsDenny said...

Dear Anonymous #7,
How large of a pussy must one be to subscribe to a method like yours? "Ignore the insult and be grateful for the publicity?" What if Jessica Coen tried to stick her 'wonder of wonders' in your ass? Would you take it like a good boy and enjoy the publicity? What a pussy.


someone else said...

so you're annoyed that someone linked to your witty observations about homeless people and air conditioners and giving people directions? not that gawker is all that great--i'm just not anticipating anything profound coming from you in this "war." ;)

Anonymous said...

Gawker is a Coney Island whitefish with just enough jizz in it to make you puke if you happen to pick it up off the strand without knowing what it really is.

Kick their celebrity-brown-nosing butts right up the side of the Conde Nast building. -Metaphorically speaking, of course. I do not advocate violence, not even towards preening snobs.

Anonymous said...

if you're seriously offended by an insult (which is still a link, you know) from a satirical blog that insults pretty much everyone, then you're seriously too sensitive for this stuff. if they really wanted to hurt you, they'd not link you at all.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Anonymous at 6:52 up to the point he/she writes "stupid to wage some lame war on them...not many people would have noticed your blog if gawker hadn't linked to you...kinda stupid."

Specifically, waging war is a fine, not stupid, strategy if it angers Gawker and it's readers enough to respond and thereby point readers to this site. It's a game,of course, and not an especially nice one. In any case it'llprobably be over before the day is out.

Anonymous said...

the inane dissing the inane. note to realests: jessican coen [according to wikipedia] didn't move to nyc until a couple of years ago herself. she has no more street cred than you. [michigan to cali to ny] just put her in her place first, and then kill yourselves.

Anonymous said...

Wait, you guys are from the Daily? What year did you graduate?

And yeah, fuck Gawker.

Amish said...

For being an editor, she's doing a pretty terrible job. When they linked me, they wrote Tourist in New York piss everyone off.... Talk about lack of subject-verb agreement!

Real? Denied.

Betty said...

The fact that you are offended is just plain stupid. Heather is a personal friend of mine and her humor is very self-deprecating. What she wrote is her making fun of the world and not meant to be personally offending.

Get a life and a sense of humor. Look on the bright side, Now you will have more traffic.

Anonymous said...

Sure, Gawker has its ups and downs, but this is a really, really lame takedown.

"Yeah, we said it."

Said what? What plenty of other people have written?

I don't see what Gawker owes you as a fellow blog.

There's nothing inherently wrong with attempting to bring down a popular site a few notches, but that route has a much higher success rate when the insults and insights are more fresh and funny, and less cringe-worthy.

Anonymous said...

I never comment, but today I will because you are so wrong. Who ever even heard of you? The points you bring up are trying to be deep and original, but they are not! Good luck with the whole writing thing. Your going to need it!


Anonymous said...

I have never posted a comment on a blog before in my life. I never planned on it. But here I find myself so stunned that I have to say something.

To every literal idiot posting "defending" Gawker: I think you are missing the point of this blog.

The Realest is just keeping it real. Hence the name of the blog. Their response was perfectly in line with everything this blog stands for and that makes it an enteraining read. Its about keeping it real... and thats exactly what they did.

Excuse my saucey language Gawkerites, but maybe this blog isn't your cup of tea. If you want to read more about the latest Conde Nast news or about Katie Couric, go right a head over there. But they sure don't keep it real.

Anonymous said...

You should be grateful to get your site in front of eyes that run the media. I also think you have a problem separating business from reality. Stop being retards.

Anonymous said...

That was a pretty good diss session there. You have done your research, Darlings, but I think you are in over your head here. Your failure to recognize your embodiment of the "New Mid-Western New Yorker" stereotype may prove hurtful when dealing with these sharp cats.

Whatever, fuck them. Fuck Gawker. Yeah! Fuck em'. Go Gothamist! They are nicer!

Anonymous said...

Go back home pseudo poseurs, I'll bet you guys are from Ohio or some other lame ass state.

Anonymous said...

To all of you brainwashed, half-witted numbfucks who think that it's mean to criticize poor 'lil Gawker: Shut the fuck up. Go back to Gawker. Go roll around in the stink, predictability, and bile of a site that thinks Blackface Jesus and headlines with the phrase "Pants Pooping Junket" are witty. You're hopeless. You're brainless. You're pods.

Gawker makes hay on a few things, and it does them well: elevating freaks into minor internet celebrities; predictable bitching that attempts to come off as wit (or wit's trendier evil cousin, "irony"); celebrity cocksucking; and beating media non-stories to death (oh, fuck yeah, more Radar Magazine, please).

From the adoring asslicking drones in Gawker's comments, to all the wannabe Gawker sites, to the fucknuts who CANNOT BELIEVE that there are people who'd rather do their thing and amble on without a demeaning link from Gawker (OUTRAGEOUS!), that site has spawned nothing but idiocy. It's done it for years now, and will do it in perpetuity. In reality, it's little more than VH-1 with a pottymouth.

Obviously, these guys would prefer to do what they please, rather than run around with their tongues stuck out, looking for the latest drippings from "Jess" and "Jesse." If you think that's outrageous, you're a moron.

Thank you very much.

Anonymous said...


Oh yeah, and Gawkerites: Cargo Magazine is still not funny or interesting. We get it. It was a dumb magazine that went under. Hillarous.

Anonymous said...

wow - where to begin?

First of all, idiots, a link from Gawker - no matter how snarky the comment attached to it - is the best thing that will ever happen to this blog.

Having said that,I read through your archives just to find out what you're all about (you can thank Gawker for that) but there really isn't much here that I find compelling or interesting. This whole endeavor smells fratty to me and I can't think of anything more tedious and banal than frat humor.

Anonymous said...

I can. "Witty" humor about people and establishments that don't even care you exist. The only thing worse than throw-away "fratty" humor is humor that is too cool for the room.

You made the above person's point for them. "...there really isn't much here that I find compelling or interesting."

This isn't a site for you. Its a sports-related site and you read a NY culture site. Total shock that you don't like it. And isn't it Gawkers' fault for linking their moron readers to a site they don't care about? Idiot.

P.S. the argument of "you should be happy that they are linking to your stupid site at all and increasing your hits" is mindless. If you're keepin it real, you don't care how many people feelin you, you just bring it hard. Ya'll clowns.

Anonymous said...

I can see why Gawker ripped it...

Anonymous said...

Hey poseurs from the midwest, chill out

Mike P said...

All you not real anonymous people commenting obviously don't understand that the Realests is all about posts like this. Go back to your lattes, douches.

zima said...

agreed with the guy ontop of me... that sounded wrong... but, all you fake anonymous people go fuck off and read all the other posts, the great ones like anchondo and the 24 realest style, and watch out for the great looking the great zubino.

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