Manu Gifloppili

This guy - trying to pick up a technical foul with a minute remaining. He is starting to redefine pussy. He is almost on a Reggie Miller level. They really need to curb this trend - it is taking over the league.

It really takes away from the game. How about a similar rule to soccer: if you are caught flopping, YOU are given the foul.

Anyone see the flop Alan Henderson did on Amare Stoudemire in the Suns-Mavs series? When Amare pivoted, Henderson acted like an elbow hit him in the face. I mean Henderson's eyes almost popped out of his head he is selling the thing so hard.

How pathetic.


Coming Soon....

NCAA Tournament-style of the Realest things we have ever done (field could be expanded to 128)



A restaurant chain named Cooters is started, driving Hooters out of business immediately.

I give you... DERELICTE

Now that I am babysitting Buckley, I've realized he has a very regimented morning schedule. It goes like this:

1. Wake up nearest human
2. Wait by the door to go out
3. Find street vent and pee in it
4. Go to Central Park
5. Pound fools
6. Find pile of mud
7. Lie in it
8. Go back home
9. Drink a lot of water
10. Sleep


Penn State Athletic Director

Can you imagine Michigan doing this with Bill Martin? No wonder Penn State sports suck. Is this PSU's way to update to the 21st century? Congratulations guys, you can use Photo Shop.


What an idiot....


Realest of the Week

After Afleet Alex's miraculous recovery, I almost had a knee-jerk reaction and put him up as Realest of the Week. But something just didn't feel right about it. I went back to look at the core values of being real:

1) Being a jackass (preferably through self promotion)
2) Pissing a lot of people off
3) Not giving a fuck

After looking at those, it suddenly struck who the true champion was: Scrappy T. I mean, Scrappy Tizzle could feel the lead slipping, so what did he do? He tried to ruin the race for the favorite. He got the trainer to yell "Son of a bitch!" on national TV. And everyone hates his jockey as well.

Very heads up play by the Tizzle.

Scrappy T Posted by Hello


Word on the Street...

Is that Anakin turns to the Dark Side by cutting off the head of Jar Jar Binks. George Lucas has COMPLETELY REDEEMED himself.


What has Bill Martin done?!?! First the SBC disaster, now this?!


I GUARANTEE they take that yellow piping off the away jersey. Yeah, I said it: guarantee. And you can quote me on that.


A win for the human spirit

This story is amazing. It's what journalism is all about. Please take time to read selected excerpts and reflect on how blessed we all are.

Copyright 1980 The Washington Post
The Washington Post

September 28, 1980, Sunday, Final Edition
Correction Appended

SECTION: First Section; A1

LENGTH: 1955 words

8-Year-Old Heroin Addict Lives for a Fix

BYLINE: By Janet Cooke, Washington Post Staff Writer

Jimmy is 8 years old and a third-generation heroin addict, a precocious little boy with sandy hair, velvety brown eyes and needle marks freckling the baby-smooth skin of his thin brown arms.

He nestles in a large, beige reclining chair in the living room of his comfortably furnished home in Southeast Washington. There is an almost cherubic expression on his small, round face as he talks about life -- clothes, money, the Baltimore Orioles and heroin. He has been an addict since the age of 5...

... Six months later, Jimmy was hooked. "I felt like I was part of what was goin' down," he says. "I can't really tell you how it feel. You never done any? Sort of like them rides at King's Dominion . . . like if you was to go on all of them in one day.

"It be real different from herb (marijuana). That's baby s---. Don't nobody here hardly ever smoke no herb. You can't hardly get none right now anyway."

Jimmy's mother Andrea accepts her son's habit as a fact of life, although she will not inject the child herself and does not like to see others do it.

... "Drugs and black folk been together for a very long time."...

... She never knew her father. Like her son, Andrea spent her childhood with her mother and the man with whom she lived for 15 years. She recalls that her mother's boyfriend routinely forced her and her younger sister to have sex with him, and Jimmy is the product of one of those rapes.

Depressed and discouraged after his birth ("I didn't even name him, you know? My sister liked the name Jimmy and I said 'OK, call him that, who gives a fu--? I guess we got to call him something, don't we?'") she quickly accepted the offer of heroin from a woman who used to shoot up with her mother.

... He grabs Jimmy's left arm just above the elbow, his massive hand tightly encircling the child's small limb. The needle slides into the boy's soft skin like a straw pushed into the center of a freshly baked cake. Liquid ebbs out of the syringe, replaced by bright red blood. The blood is then reinjected into the child.

Jimmy has closed his eyes during the whole procedure, but now he opens them, looking quickly around the room. He climbs into a rocking chair and sits, his head dipping and snapping upright again, in what addicts call "the nod."

"Pretty soon, man," Ron says, "you got to learn how to do this for yourself."

CORRECTION-DATE: January 17, 2001

The above article is not factually correct and is a fabrication by the author. For a detailed account of how it came to be published by The Washington Post, please see the article by Bill Green, then the newspaper's reader ombudsman, published in The Post on April 19, 1981.

GRAPHIC: Illustration, no caption, By Michael Gnatek Jr. for The Washington Post


Clap Back

Jim's attacked me again in public...he'll never learn.

1) Jim's gonna leave his job at CSTV to work with his dad's pony company - Jim, ponies are for little girls.

2) You're spelling in the attack blog sucks - it's lose, not loose.

3) Gold Bond goes on your nuts, not all over the bathroom floor.

Get at me dog.

JBM's Award Speech

Brady sent this to me in an e-mail:

"First of all, let me start by saying that I am extremely humbled by this award. Of course, being humbled isn’t real at all. But, since I’ve already won the award, I can be humble. Probably, the only possible way that being humble is real is by being humbled by being real. So, yes, I’m humbled.

I’ve been working toward this award for a long time, and there are lot of people that should be thanked. First, to the Realests. You’ve taken pizza slices to the face. You’ve thrown beer all over yourself. You’ve had beer thrown on you by others. You’ve created a scene. In fact, your entire existence is a scene. You are my inspiration. Without you, I’d be, well, not real at all.

Next, I’d like to thank my parents, Kathy and David, for supporting me through all of those times when I wasn’t real. Like the time when I tried to sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic at Patriots Day in 5th grade, and some kid picked on me and told me I was going to fail, and I cried in front of the whole school. Or the time that I spent a Sunday afternoon throwing a hissy fit because I needed to rake the leaves instead of watch the Bills Jets game.

Realness is something so unique, something so intangible, you just can’t touch it or explain it. So, what does it mean that I’m the ROW this week? Everything. Or nothing. And that’s the beauty of realness.


ROW, May 3-17"

Realest of the Last 2 Weeks

JBM Posted by Hello

First of all, everyone needs to relax on making us blog. I've gotten a lot of complaints for not putting up a Realest of the Week. Remember people: reading our blog is a priviledge, not a right.

On to our good friend "JBM". We are not using his name because people are searching the internet to try and bring him down.

If you haven't already heard the story, here is our version of it:

JBM gloats on the web about how sweet he is and how much everyone at work loves him. He then continues to talk about things that shouldn't be broadcast over the internet - such as getting drunk with his boss, and part of his conversation with the boss.

Some douche looking for trouble, finds this gloating and reports JBM to his boss. Boss man calls up JBM and asks him what in the world he is doing.

JBM has thus been rewarded with Realest of the Last 2 Weeks, for striking on two of the three core values of being real:

1) Being a jackass (preferably through self promotion)
2) Pissing a lot of people off
3) Not giving a fuck

JBM definitely didn't stick #3. He immediately took down his recent posts and promised never to blog again. Now if Brady were to leave the posts and add another one entitled "All Haters Blow Dick" - I give my word he will be awarded Realest of the Year.

That offer will remain on the table in case JBM changes his mind.

JBM is lucky...

I didn't find this story until just now ... Pretty real ...



Realest of the Week

Ron Ron Posted by Hello

Ahhhhh, it's that time again.

This week's Realest of the Week is a blast from the blast: Ron Mercer.

Yeah, bet you didn't think you'd hear that name again. This story brings up the troubling trend of athletes struggling to get ass (Jeremey LeSueur comes to mind).

According to the New York Post:

One of Mercer's pals approached publicist Kim Fields at the bar and asked her to give Mercer a "birthday hug." When she tried to shake his hand, he started yelling 'Fuck her!' 'Fuck her!' really loud.

"Then one of his friends started throwing gum at me. I felt kind of threatened... so I went outside." Fields says she next ran into Mercer and his posse at a hot dog stand right outside the club. After approaching the group and chiding them for their bad behavior, she turned to walk away and was hit in the back with a hot dog. "It was ridiculous," she said.

A Nets spokesman declined to comment.


My New York Friend!

I think I've finally found a friend in New York - on the Internet. We got hammered playing NBA Live 2005 and trying to bate this guy into a rematch, we talked a lot of shit. He clapped back with a lot of graphic stuff about bodily fluids being on our face. We were about to come to virtual blows. But then something funny happened. NBA Live brought about a mutual respect for one another. We lost twice more, before finally beating the guy at 5 in the morning. 1/2 of The Realests declared that he would sleep like a baby that night. Afterward, the guy said "Good game!" At first, I thought he was sarcastic. Then I realized he generally was happy for us. We talked (and by talked, I mean typed back and forth) a little bit longer about how we made each other better, when the impossible happened - he apologized for what he said earlier. It was amazing. It really put the game in perspective for me. I decided I had to apologize as well and then said that "What's important now is that you are my road dog". His response: "Likewise." I then accepted his invitation to be his NBA Live Buddy, so we can play again sometime in the near future. The only thing we haven't decided is when we are actually going to meet in person. Needless to say, I'm very excited.