TSKITISHVILI'S REVENGE

People keep talking about how the Knicks had the worst draft of anyone in the league.

That's absurd.

Nikoloz Tskitishvili had the worst draft - hands down. While people were discussing Andrea Bargnani, Nikoloz's name was constantly dragged through the mud as the "worst-case scenario." Even Dickie V took a shot at Tish, pronouncing his name two different ways in a span of 5 seconds.


Tish in 2002

Yeah, the guy has averaged only 3 points a game in 4 NBA seasons and has been passed around more than Jenna Jameson. But Tish always has been and always will be one of our favorite players, and let us tell you something: he loves proving critics wrong.

As I write this, Tish is running suicide drills. Tish's backward shot is almost perfected, the most deadly weapon since Kareem's sky hook.

You watch, Nikoloz will lead the Suns to the NBA Championship next year.


The secret weapon...

IT'S NOT DELIVERY.... IT'S BARGNANI!!!!!!

We look up Andrea Bargnani and read things like "excellent athletic skills", "runs the court very well with good speed and quickness", "adept at beating his dribbler off the ball" and "really, really good looking."

Call us haters, but after watching this video of him dunking a ball onto his own head and falling down, all we see is a doofus (love the music though...):

MAJERUS: "NOT A BIG GAY GUY"

There isn't a player in the NBA Draft with less heart than Rudy Gay. Rick Majerus says as much, while strangely defending his sexuality in the process (pay particular attention to Steve Lavin's face in this clip):



We're sure Rudy Gay is very disappointed Rick Majerus doesn't play for the other side ... Smile, Rudy!

ADAM MORRISON: THE NEW FACE OF MARXISM

We've been beaten over the head with the story of Adam Morrison reading Karl Marx and hanging flags of Che Guevara on his wall.

But, has anyone noticed this guy is really starting to look like the guerrilla leader, and, couldn't he be planning to use the NBA as his platform for a Marxist Revolution????

That's food for thought....

By the way, these t-shirts would sell like crazy:

Photo art by T-Dizzle

AMMENDMENT TO THE 'M'ISERABLE 10

In our list of the most pathetic Michigan sports moments from the 2005-06 school year, how did I forget this one?! Forgive me...

Considering Brent Musberger's commentary, this could be #1 on the list: "Take it home! Big fella does it! Yeah big fella!"

(And let's not forget his call of the T.J. Duckett touchdown in 2001, alluding to the World Series: "First it was Martinez! Then it was Brosius! Now it's SSSSSSSmoker!!!!!")

Man, that guy is a douche...

WILL HORTON GET DRAFTED?

It's hard to believe that Daniel Horton, who was 10X better than any of his teammates last year, is still dangerously close to going undrafted. In the following Yahoo! preview, they rank him 78th overall (there are 60 picks in the entire draft).

Obviously Horton's strong pre-draft workouts haven't impressed Yahoo that much, as they have him sandwiched between Sun Ye and Leonardo Di Pacce Dos Santos.

Let's just say if Horton is doing the post-graduation Europe-thing this summer, he should book the ticket one way...

FACEBOOK PICTURE OF THE WEEK

This week we have a very special guest on The Realests: Cleveland Browns' stud Braylon Edwards.

We had to give him a shout out based solely on the fact he still updates his Facebook profile. It was just icing on the cake that we found such a great pic of Braylicious to show you guys.

"Who the FUCK let this clown-ass dude in my party?..."

Bray: didn't you get the memo about Cristal being racist???

That's alright, we still love you #1...

REVISITING THE Y2K NBA DRAFT GLITCH

Everyone's talking about how bad the talent pool is in this NBA Draft. People: we've gotten a little spoiled with the LeBrons, Carmelos and Dwyanes.

Let's all take a look back at the 2000 Draft Class, which is a giant stain on the record books.

1. Kenyon Martin, New Jersey
2. Stromile Swift, Vancouver
3. Darius Miles, LA Clippers
4. Marcus Fizer, Chicago
5. Mike Miller, Orlando
6. DerMarr Johnson, Atlanta
7. Chris Mihm, Chicago (traded to Cleveland)
8. Jamal Crawford, Cleveland (traded to Chicago)
9. Joel Przybilla, Houston
10. Keyon Dooling, Orlando

You know you've got a problem when the top 6 draft picks don't start in the league and no one in the top 10 is with his original team.

As pointed out by ESPN earlier, best player in the entire class is Michael Redd (43rd overall to the Bucks).

Shit, even Mark Madsen was a first-round pick (29th overall to the Lakers)!

The only place Mark Madsen ever fit in...

"IT'S A WALK-OFF..."

Gangsters don't dance, and Tom Cruise and Pat Riley definitely fall under that category. So here they both are "walking" to Yung Joc's "It's Going Down." Seeing as no one pulled a pair of underwear out of their pants, we'll call this a draw:

Warning: Playing them simultaneously could make your head explode...

CRUISE


RILEY

WORST...BLOG...EVER...

Or is it the best blog ever???

EVIL VS. EVIL

I believe it was "The Chronicles of Riddick" that put it best:

"In normal times, evil would be fought by good. But in times like these, well, it should be fought by another kind of evil."

Well, that's exactly what is going on with Michael Strahan's divorce from his wife. If you haven't been reading the NY Post lately, here's a summary:

* Wifey wants $14 million dollars
* Strahan's lawyers have devised a genius strategy for him to act like he is suffering from amnesia - he claims he can't remember:
1) Wife's birth date
2) 18-month old twins' birthday
3) Wedding anniversary
4) Love letters he wrote to his wife (although he DOES acknowledge he recognizes the handwriting as his own...)
5) A song he sang to her named "Green Eyes"
* Wife walks out of the courtroom and calls him gay

Let's just hope this ends up with a better ending than C.O.R....

U.S. OUSTED BY GHANARRHEANS

Now that we've had a day to let the U.S. soccer debacle set in, people are starting to act like the Ghanarrheans win wasn't that big a surprise. The British ESPN analyst, Tommy Smyth, went so far as to say the States did "O.K." in the World Cup.

Let me put it simply: Ghanarrheans should not be able to do ANYTHING better than we can. That goes for everything from soccer to tiddly winks.

Here's a quick overview of the West African country:

United States GDP, $12.3 Trillion
Expected Sales of "Frat Boy Missionaries", $3 Trillion
Ghana GDP, $54 Billion

"CLICK" DROPS HOLLYWOOD TO NEW LOW

Let me start with this:

"Frat Boy Missionaries"
Coming: Summer 2012

Ok, and let me also say it's disgusting when really funny people like Adam Sandler do crap movies like this. Now onto the important stuff...

When you first heard about Sandler's new comedy "Click", how many people out there said to themselves, "Isn't this exactly like Bruce Almighty"?

It turns out they could be more similar than we even feared. Why? Because it turns out two of Bruce Almighty's writers (Steve Koren, Mark O'Keefe) are the ones responsible for this "new" script.

(By the way, these two are getting blacklisted as soon as we take over Hollywood....)

These guys are dickriding themselves! We bet Sandler and Beckinsale did the whole thing in front of a green screen and the rest was done over a computer.

I mean even these posters look the exact same! Disgusting.....

REAL WORLD DENVER UPDATE

While we gave up on this season's Real World a long time ago, we still haven't given up on the franchise altogether.

Thanks to the NY Post, we have been pointed in the direction of getrealdenver.com, a site dedicated to stalking Denver's cast.

From the looks of it, Jonathan Murray has gone back to the basics with a bunch of lushes that pillage their town.

And if daily updates aren't enough, get ahold of this: the "Real World Denver Webcam." That's right, a webcam monitoring the Real World house 24 hours a day. Completely psycho? Yes.

Sadly, this appears to be more entertaining than watching this season....


Please spare us....

LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON?

Incredibly, no one is reporting Santonio Holmes' trouble in 2003, when he was charged with disorderly conduct for an incident in which a woman claimed her jaw was broken.

So we decided to dig a little deeper into Santonio's past and see what else we could find. What we ended up with is a Sept. 18, 1990 article from the Orlando Sentinel:

Police on Saturday arrested a 34-year-old Cocoa man after the victim of an attempted sexual assault on Sept. 9 saw him at a bar and identified him as her attacker.

The 24-year-old woman told police she was walking home at 11:30 p.m. on Peachtree Street when a man grabbed her from behind, hit her head and dragged her behind a building. The victim said the suspect tried to tear off her clothes, but she escaped.

Police arrested Santonio Holmes, 327 Pineapple St., on charges of attempted sexual battery and aggravated assault. He is being held on $30,000 bail at the Brevard County jail in Sharpes.

Obviously the article IS NOT proof that this is Santonio's dad. But here are the facts:

1) Santonio's dad is Santonio Sr.
2) Santonio Jr. grew up without his dad
3) Cocoa, FL is located 2.5 hours away from Belle Glade, FL, where Santonio grew up
4) Santonio Holmes was born in 1984, which would make this man approximately 28 years old at the time of the wide receiver's birth

Is this Santonio's dad? You be the judge...

IF it is, we just find it incredible how often a kid vows not to be like his father, just to end up going down the exact same road...

SANTONIO HOLMES BEATS BITCHES UP

After getting arrested on Memorial Day weekend for disorderly conduct, Santonio Holmes stepped it up a notch yesterday - getting arrested for domestic violence. The woman accussing him of assault? The mother of his 18-week old daugther (and yes, that article says he has 3 children).

While the reason for his arrest has not been released and his lawyer is already working damage control, let's not forget an incident in 2003 that really slipped through the cracks...

Nov. 16, 2003: At 3 a.m. after a win over Purdue and six days before the Michigan game, wide receiver Santonio Holmes and quarterback Troy Smith are charged with misdemeanor disorderly conduct after a fight in a parking lot on campus. A window in a car is kicked out and one woman reported her jaw was broken. At least one other prominent Buckeye is at the scene, but is not charged. Holmes is held out of the starting lineup at Michigan but returns to play most of the game. Holmes also started in the Buckeyes' Fiesta Bowl game. He pleads innocent to the disorderly conduct after the team returns to Columbus. The disorderly conduct charge is dismissed against Holmes on March 30, 2004. Smith is found guilty of the charge.

What next? Chopping her pet's head off and shoving it through the doggy door?

MY GANGSTA STEEZ

OK, I didn't fool anyone. Yesterday I posted this video and ripped the kid in it for being a douche when, in fact, this is me C-walking in my room.

You caught me - ridin' dirty...

IAN POULTER IS FLAMING

I don't know which was harder to watch: Ian Poulter or his shank off the first tee. Tune into the U.S. Open today and keep your eye out for him. He's hard to miss: tight pink shirt, crucifix necklace and the frattiest hair you will ever see.

This guy seems like a complete ego-maniac. Just check out his website, which gives his yearly earnings on the home page.

Here is a quick photo gallery:

Party like a frat star...

Looking flaming, again...

Looking douchier....

Looking ridiculously stupid....

I hate you...

FACEBOOK PICTURE OF THE WEEK

You might recognize many of these guys, as there are multiple Michigan basketball players in this picture. And of course everyone is trying to look hard and get in the obligatory hand signals. But there is one basketball player that has absolutely no right to be mean muggin' so hard: Courtney Sims.

Dude looks like he is about to pull a Shyne in the club. Come on Courtney, wipe that silly look off your face - we can't take you seriously like that...


I'm sending this picture to Greg Oden's home...

IN JAY-Z NEWS...

The AP reports that Jay-Z is boycotting Cristal... Which, of course, means The Realests are now boycotting Cristal.

This is how the man in charge of Cristal - Frederic Rouzaud - pissed Jigga off:

In The Economist magazine, Rouzaud said the company viewed the affection for his company’s champagne from rappers and their fans with “curiosity and serenity.”

Asked by the magazine if the association between Cristal and the “bling lifestyle” could be detrimental, Rouzaud replied:

“That’s a good question, but what can we do? We can’t forbid people from buying it. I’m sure Dom Perignon or Krug would be delighted to have their business.”

Now, this isn't exactly a surprise coming from an extremely wealthy French guy. And it's up for debate whether the comment was actually racist.

Either way, we are getting bottle service tomorrow night at the 40/40 Club and will take turns pissing in leftover Cristal bottles. Pictures to come...