Un-Realest of the Week

Ashton Kutcher, who married Demi Moore the other day. For now, it's a great decision.... but there is only so long plastic surgery can hold on for. In about 5 years, Demi's gonna have bacon strips and Jamie Lynn Spears will have just turned 18.

Knowledge.

Jay: "Me give my heart to a woman?
Not for nothin, never happen
I'll be forever mackin
Heart cold as assassins, I got no passion
I got no patience
And I hate waitin.."
(Hey Hov, aren't those last two lines the same thing?)

Realest of the Week

BEANIE SIGEL IS BACK BITCHES

The trial of the century re-opens today but can't get too hyped.

Description from case: "a man fought with a go-go dancer in a bar, had a friendly exchange with Sigel, was accused of calling another woman a b---- and, eventually, was shot by Sigel over the comment."

Don't even get me started on lyrics for this one, just turn on your ipod, go to vol. 3, and throw on "dopeman".

case closed

Realest of September

Everyone relax, the blog isn't dead.

Realest of September: Barbara Bush. This one almost slipped by me, but now it's time to humiliate her.

Barbara on Hurricane Katrina evacues: "What I'm hearing, which is sort of scary, is they all want to stay in Texas. Everyone is so overwhelmed by the hospitality. And so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them."

BTW, Kanye West's stunt would have been real - except it was done by Kanye West, who is turning out to be an elephant douche.

Michigan Football = Blue Balls

It's never felt better/worse to be a michigan wolverine.

Realest of the Week

Florida State WR De'Cody Fagg.

When we first saw this, we figured there must be a pronunciation like "Fog" or "Fayeg". Nope - it's just "Fag." Definitely the only highlights of the FSU-Miami game last night was Musburger saying his full name to avoid sounding like a homophobe (from this blog you already know he is a racist).

We are just waiting until the radio guy gets caught up in the moment and makes this call: "Weatherford drops back.... looks downfield... he's got A WIDE OPEN FAG in the end zone!... TOUCHDOWN SEMINOLES!!!!"

Jay quote oddly fitting the situation:

"My pops knew exactly what he did when he made me/Tried to get a nut and he got a nut and what"