THIS CAN ONLY END BADLY

Scott Linehan: You bastard.

This man should be arrested and charged with attempted murder.

As you already know, human rag doll Trent Green is replacing Marc Bulger as the Rams starting quarterback in a last-ditch effort for Linehan to keep his job.

Green - the same guy who is still lucky to be walking around after the shot he took last year and the one former teammate Jason Taylor admitted is one more blow away from his brain turning into "scrambled eggs."

Gee, putting Green behind the worst offensive line in the league with a blitz-happy Dick Jauron sending the house all day - what could possibly go wrong?

How about this. Or this. Or this.

You get the idea.

I mean Orlando Pace was great 10 surgeries ago. Now they might as well just put a cow at left tackle. As for the rest of them: Other than Alex Barron - who also stinks, by the way - who are these fuckin' guys? Jacob Bell? Brett Romberg? Richie Incognito?!?! Are you serious?

This is getting to Evander Holyfield-level, where he should be banned from playing in the league for his own safety. Roger Goodell, step up or step off! We're begging someone to do something!

Can't you just picture last night in the Green household? Trent tucked the kids in, telling them "Dad might be going away for awhile." Meanwhile, Mrs. Green cried herself to sleep picturing her husband in a hospital bed with tapioca all over his face - AGAIN.

Well, if this line doesn't fire up the Rams in the huddle right before they break, nothing will:

"Block... or I'll die."

WEEZY F. BABY THOUGHT OF THE DAY

We're kicking it old school with today's lyrics from "I'm Me." Though it came before Weezy's masterpiece, Tha Carter III, I think we can all agree it's some of Master Wayne's finest work:

"The only time I wear Depends is when I'm 70 years old. That's when I can't hold my shit within, so I shit on myself. Cause I'm so sick and tired of shitting on everybody else."

Yeah, the transitive theory. We get it. Have since middle school:

• You = The shit

• Shit = Poop

Therefore,

• You = Poop

I mean I was pretty proud of myself for writing a song called "Poop and Peep Make a Great Flava" - but I was 8-years old. Get over it already.

And are you telling us you will still crap your pants as an old man even if you have control over your bowel movements - just because you're tired of defecating on other people?

Really?

Really Weezy???

Damn. That's real.

Note: We're on a huge T.I. kick, so do yourself a favor and check out our bangers of the week:

COLLEGE FB WEEKEND ROUNDUP

Even with Michigan's bye week, it was another spectacular weekend of football. Unless you live in Syracuse. Then it was another miserable weekend of college football. But we digress:


• Man, I'm glad we didn't hire that guy. Greg Schiano has been exposed now that Ray Rice is no longer around. Kind of scary to think this guy shot us down and Rich Rod had to beg us for a job. Rutgers dropped to 0-3 after its third straight anemic performance, this time losing to Navy. QB Mike Teel took out his frustration at the end of the game by punching his own safety in the face. This team could easily be 1-7 before its Battle Royale with Syracuse on Nov. 8.

• Speaking of the 'Cuse, the dead kitten count is now at 222. But hey, maybe that nine-point win over Northeastern will sway the Kitty Killer to spare one life. Or not...

• Phil Fulmer is the new Lloyd Carr. Sadly, we're surprised the game with Florida was even that close. But it'll give Vol fans even more reason to call for his head. Normally we'd say Fulmer will rally the troops and make a bowl game to save his job, but we're not so sure with at No. 10 Auburn, at No. 3 Georgia and No. 9 Alabama before the end of October. Yowers in his trowsers.

• Isn't life post-Ohio State great? My dad gave away his tickets, refused to watch the game, speaks with Jim Tressel with the same contempt he had for John Cooper and claimed he is already looking forward to college basketball season. Just like the good old days...

• Our vote goes to Todd Boeckman for Lehman Brothers Player of the Year. How about this guy going from a "Heisman contender" to a one-play backup in the span of a month?

• We know USC plays down to its competition, but it could win every Pac-10 game by 50 points. Wow. This conference is awful. 0-5 vs. the Mountain West? Pathetic. And ASU-Georgia game was never close. And who knows how bad they'll run up the score on UCLA after the stunt Rick Neuheisel (code name: "Ben Dover") just pulled in the L.A. Times.

• Temple isn't looking so hot as our "super sleeper" pick. But people don't realize they lost to UConn in OT and Buffalo on a Hail Mary. They could easily be 3-1 right now. We know, we know. Sour grapes.

• We're already tired of the BYU BCS talk. Yes, they've got a great shot at going undefeated with only one stiff test left (Nov. 22 at Utah). But are we really gonna do the hypothetical argument about whether this team should be playing for the national title if they go 12-0? Please spare us.

• Notre Dame is awful. Which makes us utterly repulsive. But at least we haven't completely tuned out our coach at this point. Advantage: Michigan.

• We're sticking with our guns that Les Miles wasn't the right hire for Michigan. We don't care how many national titles he wins at LSU. OK, maybe we care a little bit. Like we cautioned with East Carolina, everyone hold their horses with the LSU hype. Let's see how they do with No. 4 Florida and No. 3 Georgia in the span of three weeks and no quarterback to speak of.

• Ditto with the Penn State hype. Are we the only ones that remember PSU hasn't beaten Michigan since 1996? Nonconference is the new preseason; it doesn't mean squat (at least when you schedule like Penn State it is).

• We'd say the same thing for Minnesota but people aren't that stupid. After all, we're dealing with these jokers:

THE WORLD'S HOTTEST WAG: FINALE

Here are the results from the Sweet 16:

1) Cheryl Cole def. 4) Carly Zucker: 2,528-683
3) Minka Kelly def. 2) Yesica Toscanini: 1,213-816

4) Jennifer Walcott def. 1) Gisele Bundchen: 1,639-1,267
2) Alena Seredova def. 3) Anara Atanes: 1,549-1,108

1) Abigail Clancy def. 4) Nereida Gallardo: 1,490-1,095
2) Oksana Andersson def. 3) Jessica Simpson: 1,584-1,063

1) Adriana Lima def. 4) Jennifer Metcalfe: 1,750-757
3) Sylvie van der Vaart def. 2) Carmella Decesare: 1,532-977

Not too many surprises here except Jennifer Walcott's anihiliation of Gisele Bundchen, adding insult to injury for Tom Brady. Tom: If it makes you feel any better, we still find her attractive. Kind of.

Judging from the results, Cole and Walcott have to be considered the frontrunners at this point.

Now on to business.

How's this for a flip on your face: Did we say a week per round? Screw that.

Instead of milking as many hits out of this as we can, we're taking the 8 winners from the Sweet 16, minus Alena Seradova - judging by the last round, she doesn't have a shot at the title and would only be the Ralph Nader of WAGs.

On top of that, we're throwing out the seeds and going grimey McGrimerson with a WWF Royal Rumble-style finale to decide this thing.

Let's get ready to rumbllllllllllllllllllllllllllle!!!!

Cheryl Cole

Husband: Ashley Cole (Chelsea FC)

Age: 25

Occupation: Singer, "Girls Aloud"

Country: England










VS.

Minka Kelly

Boyfriend: Derek Jeter (New York Yankees)

Age: 28

Occupation: Actress, "Friday Night Lights"

Country: USA









VS.

Jennifer Walcott

Fiance: Adam Archuleta (F/A)

Age: 31

Occupation: Model

Country: USA










VS.

Abigail Clancy

Husband: Peter Crouch (Portsmouth)

Age: 22

Occupation: Model

Country: England









VS.

Oksana Andersson

Boyfriend: Christian Wilhelmsson (Al-Hilal)

Age: 24

Occupation: Model & Actress

Country: Russia









VS.

Adriana Lima

Fiance: Marko Jaric (Memphis Grizzlies)

Age: 27

Occupation: Model, Victoria's Secret

Country: Brazil










VS.

Sylvie van der Vaart

Husband: Rafael van der Vaart (Real Madrid)

Age: 30

Occupation: Model & TV Personality

Country: Holland

THE WORLD'S HOTTEST WAG: SWEET 16

Editor's Note: You're still on the Sweet 16? Get with it dog, we're onto The Finals. Boy are you in for a surprise...


MONROE REGIONAL

1) Cheryl Cole

Husband: Ashley Cole (Chelsea FC)

Age: 25

Occupation: Singer, "Girls Aloud"

Country: England










VS.

4) Carly Zucker

Fiance: Joe Cole (Chelsea FC)

Age: 23

Occupation: Personal trainer

Country: England





















2) Yesica Toscanini

Boyfriend: Juan Roman Riquelme (Boca Juniors)

Age: 22

Occupation: Model

Country: Argentina










VS.

3) Minka Kelly

Boyfriend: Derek Jeter (New York Yankees)

Age: 28

Occupation: Actress, "Friday Night Lights"

Country: USA





















HILTON REGIONAL

1) Gisele Bundchen

Boyfriend: Tom Brady (New England Patriots)

Age: 28

Occupation: Model, Victoria's Secret

Country: Brazil










VS.

4) Jennifer Walcott

Fiance: Adam Archuleta (F/A)

Age: 31

Occupation: Model

Country: USA





















2) Alena Seredova

Fiance: Gigi Buffon (Juventus FC)

Age: 30

Occupation: Model & Actress

Country: Czech Republic










VS.

3) Anara Atanes

Boyfriend: Kieran Richardson (Sunderland)

Age: 20

Occupation: Model

Country: England





















POSH REGIONAL

1) Abigail Clancy

Husband: Peter Crouch (Portsmouth)

Age: 22

Occupation: Model

Country: England










VS.

4) Nereida Gallardo

Ex-Boyfriend: Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United)

Age: 25

Occupation: Model

Country: Spain





















2) Oksana Andersson

Boyfriend: Christian Wilhelmsson (Al-Hilal)

Age: 24

Occupation: Model & Actress

Country: Russia










VS.

3) Jessica Simpson

Boyfriend: Tony Romo (Dallas Cowboys)

Age: 28

Occupation: Singer, Actress

Country: USA





















SHIELDS REGIONAL

1) Adriana Lima

Fiance: Marko Jaric (Memphis Grizzlies)

Age: 27

Occupation: Model, Victoria's Secret

Country: Brazil










VS.

4) Jennifer Metcalfe

Boyfriend: Jermaine Pennant (Liverpool)

Age: 23

Occupation: Actress & Model

Country: England














2) Carmella Decesare

Husband: Jeff Garcia (Tampa Bay Bucs)

Age: 26

Occupation: Model

Country: USA










VS.

3) Sylvie van der Vaart

Husband: Rafael van der Vaart (Real Madrid)

Age: 30

Occupation: Model & TV Personality

Country: Holland

"LOOK MA! I GOT THE GOLDEN EGG!"

You think West Virginia fans hated us before?

Well it's going to reach a whole new level after watching Bill Stewart dismantle their football program in just three games.

Not only did Dick Rod leave the program in the hands of a crazy old kook (did you see that halftime interview with Erin Andrews??), Mounty fans can blame Rod for being stuck with Stewart for six more years.

A.D. Ed Pastilong panicked and signed Stewart to a six-year deal AFTER getting waxed by East Carolina, 24-3, because of the way Rod and Beilein left WVU high and dry.

Who knows what Pastilong will do after watching Stewart botch the end of the Colorado game with worse time management than Ron Mott.

How about a 4-year extension?

Better lock this guy up before a school like Syracuse comes along and throws big money at him!

Note: Maybe that Fiesta Bowl win had a little more to do with Mike Barwis' speech than Bill Stewart's? Just a thought.

OLD SCHOOL JAM OF THE DAY

Who can forget the Young Gunz?! Actually, everyone can. These guys were popular about as long as ketchup popsicles. What happened to Damon Dash by the way?

TRL IS DUNZO

A piece of me just died.

The pop culture phenomenon Total Request Live -- better known as TRL -- has been canceled. The last episode will air in November.

At its height, TRL ruled the world.

Yeah, the show was pretty absurd. The idea of running home from high school to catch 30 seconds of "Bye, Bye, Bye" at No. 1 for the 254th time with girls popping up in the picture-in-picture to scream "I love you Justin!!!! AHHHH!!!!!!" doesn't seem real appealing.

But deep down you know you loved it. All of it. The lame Carson Daly jokes. The outrage when Britney Spears' dressed up in that Catholic school girl outfit in "...Baby One More Time." Even Jesse Camp. (OK, maybe not).

But shit, even Eminem did. He went so far as to release this statement (seriously): "I'm going to miss 'TRL.' ... Where else will I be able to start feuds, defend my honor vigorously and act like an angry teenager on national TV? Oh wait ... The VMAs!"

Touche, Em. Touche...

ANN ARBOR NEWS: ROT IN PIECES

From time to time we get a little disconnected to what's going on back in the motherland, so forgive us if our timing is off.

But we just had to celebrate the destruction of The Ann Arbor News here on The Realests (lack of italics is intentional since we no longer consider it a real publication... not that we ever did).

I don't know what pissed me off most:

• The AA News constantly referring to us as "the student newspaper" (hey, it's fine when you're the New York Times, not the AA News).

• Having my reporting openly questioned in their paper after scooping the shit out of them (uh, figuratively...).

• The letter their MSE wrote our MSE after Jeopardy to state that the Ann Arbor News was disgusted with us and would never, ever hire anyone currently on the Daily's staff (as if we'd apply! And now that I think of it, the last one definitely pissed me off the most).

We don't need to tell you it's a bad time to be in the newspaper business. Even Jay Mariotti can figure it out.

But no one could have seen this coming: In complete panic mode to cut costs, the AA News has gone down to a 12-page paper AND gotten rid of their Associated Press subscription. Why they just didn't shut the whole paper down at that point is beyond us but all we can say is "Wow."

For those of you not familiar with papers, journalistically they're about on the same level as your local church newsletter.

This is a huge day for any former Daily writer that's dealt with an asshole from The News.

Crack open a bottle of the bubbly tonight and taste the victory.

Note to self: This must have been what it felt like when the Berlin Wall came down...

In solidarity,

The Realests

COLLEGE FB WEEKEND ROUNDUP

We've added a new feature - "College FB Weekend Roundup." that will recap last weekend's football action and look forward to what's ahead next Saturday. It will run each Monday. There will also be one for college basketball, so we'll be pretty busy here at The Realests with our Big Ten basketball preview on deck as well.


• We always knew Jimmy Clausen was evil. We just didn't know how evil. We introduce to you: Chucky Clausen. (Big, big props to T-Dizzle on this one.) Apparently Tim Jamison is telling everyone on campus Clawson laughed like this the entire game.

• Still bummed about Saturday's loss? This'll cheer you up:



• We'll beat you over the head again with our motto for this year: "It's not about wins and losses, it's about improvement." And though the turnovers were absolutely abysmal, Michigan did whatever it wanted to do on offense the entire game (apparently one of those things was give the ball to the other team) and the D held up admirably aside from Morgan Trent getting toasted in the first quarter. Street isn't accurate and makes some huge mistakes, but Michigan just needs to ride him out and let him learn from his miscues because Nick Sheridan is NOT the answer.

• It's confirmed: Sam McGuffie is hauling major, major ass already at Michigan. We're gonna come out and say it: Mike Hart, watch your back. Considering all the time Hart missed in college and the fact we're running the spread, McGuffie could definitely become Michigan's all-time leading rusher by the time he's finished.

• We could have really used a win in South Bend because we just don't see any way Michigan can beat a more talented, much-more experienced team like Wisconsin. Expect Michigan's best offensive performance yet, by far. But we have a sneaking suspicion we'll lose this one in heart-break hotel fashion. On the bright side, we're dreaming even bigger about a '69-style upset in The Shoe come November.

• My dad keeps asking me, "How are we ever going to get team speed to compete with these guys?" The answer: they won't. 2009 Heisman Trophy favorite Joe McKnight ran circles around the entire defense and the two opposing quarterbacks were microcosms of their programs. OSU: old, out of style, vanilla, predictable. USC: young, mobile, young, energetic and - oh yeah - ridiculously talented. The day of the big dropback passer is done. You think Tressel would have figured that out right about here:



Luckily, the Bucks won't suffer too long with Terrelle Pryor in tow. But Tressel is huge on recruiting Ohio and the rest of the Midwest so we can't picture Ohio State challenging other elite programs on a consistent basis. I know it's another silver lining, but Rich Rod has long been a national recruiter and has strong ties to the South from his days at Tulane and Clemson. Advantage: Michigan.

• Give Herbstreit credit for ripping Ohio State a new one last Saturday, saying "The Big Ten is a joke, and Ohio State is the poster child." Ouch. Afterward, the always-positive Tressel applauded his team's effort. That isn't going over big in Columbus right now. I know Tressel is in the Joe Gibbs school of coaching, where nothing negative is ever said in the press. But you have to show some emotion after getting blown out for the third time in two years. It will be interesting to see how the rest of the year goes for OSU. He's a master at rallying the troops but the heavenly glow has officially disappeared from him.

• We don't have time for a rant, but the way UCLA jumped into the top 25 was absurd. Anyone that watched the UT-UCLA game could tell both programs were in shambles. Now that they got destroyed 69-0, every talking head will think they're geniuses when they announce, "You know who this really tells you about? Tennessee!" Yeah, we get it.

• Let's slow that East Carolina train down just a tad, mmm-kay? People are already calling them this year's Boise State or Hawaii, as if there just HAS to be a non-BCS team to bust up the bowl games. Nobody seems to remember USF got to No. 2 in the nation last year before the wheels came flying off. With a tough conference schedule ahead, look for ECU to drop several games but still finish in the top 25.

• The race between Greg Robinson and Tyrone Willingham to be the first major college coach to be fired looks like this:


In-season college firings are extremely rare. But then again so are coaches without any sort of clue. We're got our boy G Rob by a nose still.

AMAKER CLEARED -- ARE YOU SERIOUS?

Breaking news into The Realests news room: Harvard men's basketball coach Tommy Amaker (a.k.a. "The Golden Child") has been cleared of ANY wrongdoing by the NCAA.

And once again the NCAA infractions committee is exposed as a complete joke.

If you haven't read the New York Times story, Amaker blatantly broke the rules by:

1. Delaying the hiring of his lead recruiter so he could do Amaker's dirty work without NCAA rules, like just-so-happening to play pickup games with recruits.

2. Following a recruit's father to a ShopRite in Trenton, N.J. to get in some extra quality time with pops.

The first one is a gray area that the NCAA can't really control (see: Bob Huggins).

But the second one? That, my friends, is cheating. And if Kelvin Sampson can get screwed sideways by the NCAA for improper cell phone calls, Amaker should AT LEAST get a slap on the wrist for stalking players' parents to a grocery store.

But see, that's not how the NCAA operates. It's all about how much ass you're willing to kiss and who you're connected with.

And that's where Tommy Amaker is a Made Man.

Harvard and it's alumni threw their total backing behind T.A. Coach K told the NCAA he'd vouch for Amaker if needed. And then Amaker probably laid himself at the mercy of the committee, apologizing profusely -- instead of basically telling them to screw themselves (i.e. Sampson).

Presto! It was all just coincidence!

Give us a break, Myles. Oh yeah, and take that damn robe off!

JIMMY CLAUSEN'S METRO MAKEOVER

Ugh, we can't stand Jimmy Clausen's hair!!!!!

After rocking the "Porcupine" at Oaks Christian and last year as a freshman, Jimmy blew it out over the offseason for the Shagadelic look in 2008. Apparently, his boyfriend just loves running his hand through Jimmy's hair while they're in bed.

And by boyfriend, we mean Brady Quinn.

THEN:



NOW:



NEXT?

IS MERRIL HOGE A GENIUS?

We blast a lot of people up here on our ivory tower - but we also face up to it when we're wrong.

And something just went off in our head after reading that Vince Young is actually considering retirement (WTF?!?!?).

So we're owning up to this post in which we rip Merril Hoge a new one for saying Jay Cutler was the only QB in the 2006 draft class worthy of a first round pick (it doesn't appear we will find out about Kellen Clemens until 2009 or 2010, but we like his chances with Favre as a mentor for a year or two):



Merril, we're sorry..... And, we take back all the concussion jokes too. Are you happy now?

No?!?! What else do you want from us?!?! Well forget it then - we take back the apology...

OLD SCHOOL JAM OF THE DAY

If you missed the HBO Special "Generation Kill" - well, you didn't miss much. It's basically just a bunch of dudes driving around in the desert for seven episodes. Not exactly the kind of insight into the war we expected from David Simon and Ed Burns - the guys that brought us The Wire.

But there was a silver lining, and that was this scene right here. There's something very nostalgic about hearing high schoool hits. We haven't been able to get it out of our heads for days and hopefully now neither with you. (And yes, that's Ziggy driving the Humvee.)



We also recommend listening to the original version and Girls Aloud in concert (a.k.a. Spice Girls 2.0 - and yeah, we said it) for the full effect.

STOP THE CARNAGE!

Words can't describe how ugly things are in Syracuse right now for coach Greg Robinson.

But we'll let them try.

The Orange just lost their first two games - including the home opener to Akron - dropping G Rob's overall record to 7-30 overall in his 4th season. Next up: a nationally televised game against Penn State with former 'Cuse greats like Jim Brown and Art Monk in attendance for the world premiere of the much-hyped Ernie Davis movie, The Express.

Yorp.

While G Money ranked No. 3 on our 2007 list of worst football coaches, he is head and shoulders above everyone else this season (actually, Dave Wannstedt ain't that far behind). This guy makes Paul Pasqualoni look like Tom Landry.

The real losers in all this? Kittens. The Syracuse booster that threatened to kill a kitten for each day Robinson continued to be employed has kept his word. The body count will stand at 211 by the end of the day. There's even an unsubstationated rumor going around The Hill that G Rob woke up to a cat's head in his bed Sunday morning, Godfather-style.

'Cuse athletic director Daryl Gross has repeatedly stated he won't give in to terrorists threats, which is admirable.

But we here at The Realests pose this question: At what point does Gross look in the mirror and realize Robinson is the real killer for murdering the football program?

Pictured below: The late Mister Bojangles

GREAT MOMENTS IN AMERICAN CINEMA

Just came across this second clip the other day and had to squeeze it in here first-thing Monday morning. We'll get back to sports tomorrow:



Skip right to 1:30 in the clip:



Think there was enough projectile vomit in this scene? Gee, huge shock this movie was a flop. Time for Fratboy Missionaries!

THIS CAN'T BE OUR NEXT VP

You know the scene in Back to the Future where Marty tells Doc that Ronald Reagan is the President in 1985 and Doc responds: "And who's the Vice President? Jerry Lewis?!"

That's about how we feel after watching Sarah Palin's sports anchor video from the 1980s. If Palin is our next VP, who's next? Lisa Guerrero? Erin Andrews? Stop the madness!

REAL RECOGNIZE REAL

Is there a Realathon going on that we don't know about?

Days after Chad Johnson changed his last name to Ocho Cinco, the circus in Allen Park just got more ridiculous: Knowing Rudi Johnson was about to take his job, former Lions RB Tatum Bell stole Johnson's luggage while RJ interviewed with Matt Villain.

Way to act a fool, Tatum.

Wonder if the security camera picked up Bell saying, "You take my job, I'll take your luggage - BITCH!"

Bell then returned the luggage minus some cash and Johnson's ID. Which begs the question: Was Bell's Plan B to pretend he was Rudi Johnson in order to keep his job?

Brilliant!

UTAH POST-POSTGAME REACTIONS

Everyone and their mother has already broken this game down. But there's no point in previewing Miami Ohio, so check out our extremely-delayed musings from Saturday:

- The national media is a bunch of morons for making this loss out to be catastrophic. Some people are picking Utah for a BCS Bowl! The first half was extremely depressing but Big Blue left it all out on the field in the second half. And for once, we didn't resign ourselves to the fact Michigan would find a way to blow the game. They eventually did - but that's beside the point. Optimism is back in Ann Arbor!

- We have really mastered the falling-short comeback. Maybe we change our slogan from "Victors Valient" to "Losers Valient."

- Nick Sheridan? More like Nicolette Sheridan!!! His across-the-body, into-double-coverage pass in the first half (which should have been a Pick 6, btw) was shades of a young Trent Dilfer.

- He had a couple nice runs, but Sam McGuffie is going to take a lot of monster shots in college football. If he was getting popped like that by Utah, imagine when he comes across Cameron Heyward.

- We don't really know what to make of the defense's performance. We went from the 2000 Michigan defense to the 2000 Ravens D during halftime. Was Mike Barwis just injecting steroids into every players' ass in the locker room? In all seriousness, give Scott Shafer props for his adjustments. Brian Johnson was getting killed out there. That performance really gives us hope to be in pretty much every game for the rest of the year.

- How much chocolate milk is K.C. Lopata drinking? That field goal would have been good from 60 yards!

- Marell Evans has gotta go. Mareezy was lost almost the entire game, as demonstrated on this play when he jumped a slant route and totally forgot about RB Matt Asiata.

- Is Mike Shaw the next Mike Hart? We say yes.

- Austin Panter. Oy vey. We made an exception to not accepting JUCOs for this guy? Pretty unreal we've resorted to starting a dude that was playing for Butler County CC two years ago.

- MGoBlog has it right: Brandon Graham is gone after this year. The way he tracked Johnson down and buried his ass was incredible. In one play he showed the explosiveness and power needed to make it in the NFL.

- If you live in the New York City area, never ever go to Professor Thom's. With Park Avenue Country Club shut down, Thom's is now worse than a Phi Psi party. Nobody could move the entire time and sadly our bodies can't handle standing up for an entire game anymore.

- Did anyone notice the final play was the exact same way the 2005 Ohio State game ended when Tyler Ecker got tackled 50 yards shot of a touchdown? And did anyone else picture Lloyd Carr in Hollywood fashion calling in the play from the stands, a la Angels in the Outfield?

GREAT MOMENTS IN AMERICAN CINEMA

Yeah, we're still a little bitter over our Fratboy Missionaries script getting blackballed by Hollywood three years ago. But how does crap like JTMD get made and our movie doesn't? Someone please explain that to me.

Go straight to 1:50 in the 1st clip and 0:50 in the 2nd for the money shots.