2.25.2005

NFL All-Real Team

With the Raiders recent acquisition of Randy Moss, they are well onto their way to having the most douche bags ever assembled. If we had our way, here would be our NFL All-Real Squad. As you will soon notice, there are few offensive lineman and defensive lineman because these positions are of little importance and part of this team's purpose is to revolutionize the game:

OFFENSE
WR: Randy Moss - Oakland
WR: Terrell Owens - Philadelphia
WR: Freddie Mitchell - Philadelphia
WR: David Boston - Miami
QB: Ryan Leaf - N/A
QB: Adrian McPherson - (R)
RB: Maurice Clarett - (R)
RB: Ricky Williams - N/A
TE: Kellen Winslow - Cleveland
TE: Jeremy Shockey - New York Giants
C: Kyle Turley - St. Louis

DEFENSE
DL: Warren Sapp - Oakland
DL: Leon Lett - Retired
LB: Donnie Edwards - Kansas City
LB: Ray Lewis - Baltimore
LB: Eric Barton - New York Jets
LB: Dwayne Rudd - Oakland
LB/S: Cato June: Indianapolis
CB: Ty Law - Free Agent
S: Donovan Darius - Jacksonville
S: Eugene Robinson - Retired
S: Charles Drake - N/A

SPECIAL TEAMS
K: Mike Vanderjagt - Indianapolis
LS: Don Mulbach - Detroit

COACHING STAFF
Head Coach: Buddy Ryan
Head Coach's Personal Bitch: Jeff Fisher - Tennessee
Offensive Coordinator: Mike Tice - Minnesota
QB Coach: Marty Mornhinweg - Philadelphia
Defensive Coordinator: Jim Mora - Retired

3 comments:

NYG said...

Shockey makes the All-real team ... you know it ... what's realer than chewing and spitting out turf after a big play?
Jim is a closet Giants fan.

Action said...

I realize positions don't matter... but I thought Turley was a tackle. Having said that, this team is oozing real.

Action said...

If you are looking for more lineman... Orlando Brown formerly of Cleveland might be a good choice, seeing as he pushes refs to the ground and sues the NFL for millions.