Pac Man Jones
Just when we thought people had stopped being real, he completely redeemed himself.
Anyone who saw the NFL Draft this weekend knows why. Up until Pac Man Jones, everyone was nicely dressed (even Cadillac had a collared shirt on), and conducted an interview. The Pac Man Jones busted that bitch wide open. As soon as Jones was picked, they went to a satelitte feed of him in Atlanta. He immediately screamed: "Whaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!" "Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet!" and "Yeaaaaaaaaaaah!" into the TV screen, while flashing his new Titans cap and Pac Man chain around his neck. After a breakdown from Mel Kiper, they went back to Pac Man, who was in the middle of the Thunder Clap. Everyone ahead of the Titans is now kicking themselves and it was reported by Chris Mortensen that Al Davis offered the Raider's next ten years of first round picks for Pac Man.
We must quickly mention Cedric "The Entertainer" Benson. When he was selected, he immediately started crying. We thought he had been "cootinized" like Braylon. But then he talked with Suzy Kolber about how the whole draft process was "a slap in the face." Then when asked why he was compared to Ricky Williams, he said: "we're both incredible athletes, same hair, African American..." We might also add that earlier in the year, Ced said he would rather win the Heisman than a national title. We were already starting to announce him Realest of the Week, when Suzy Kolber asked Benson why he cut the dreadlocks, he said he wanted a "business look." A very Braylon answer and automatic disqualification for this award.
Hey, look: It's Ricky Williams!!! Just kidding, Ced ...
Posted by The Realests at 3:20 PM