BREAKING NEWS: NON-PARRISH-ABLE!!!!!

That's right, folks. You heard it here first: Stan Parrish, the former Michigan offensive coordinator run out of town after the 2002 Citrus Bowl Massacre, will be the new head coach of Ball State.

Granted, it's the MAC. But the fact this man has a head coaching gig on the terms he left Michigan - and considering he was a ridonkulous 2-30-1 during his last head coaching job at Kansas State - simply boggles the mind.

And not only is Parrish back in the saddle again - fans were even fighting over this guy!

It would be easy to poke fun at Parrish's last season at Michigan one more time (although right now the triad of Navarre, Askew and Walker looks like Montana, Craig and Rice), but you have to give the guy props for completely reinventing himself and becoming an "offensive guru."

With Nate Davis and MiQuale Lewis back next year, the Birds will be a serious threat to repeat the MAC and - dare we say it - challenge for a BCS bowl!!! (No, we don't dare.)

On to the Toilet Bowl!