Y'all can't floss on his level

1/2 of The Realests finally stepped up. In an unprecedented move, he decided to go out and do it big. Needless to say, the results were real. Very real. We went uptown to hang out with college friends. 1/2 of The Realests was already pretty done in by the time we got there. Being his usual anti-social self, 1/2 of The Realests wanted to leave soon after we got there. But he had to have a grand exit. So first, he he asked me to pour a glass of beer on his head. Always willing to push him to be his best, I gladly obliged. He took it like a man and didn't flinch. Then he said that if I finished my beer, he would dump the rest of the pitcher on his head. I wish we had video taped it. I cooted out, and instead, in a move of brilliance, 1/2 of The Realests downed my beer, poured the pitcher on his head, and stood up in one clean motion. We had already hit the door to the bar by the time the bouncer said, "Hey you, you're out of here."

Now, this would be a good story if it ended here. But there's more.

On the way back downtown, we discussed how the haters no like and how we were gonna flip mctwerk it once the movie gets made. Anyway, we end up at Joe's Pizzeria, where all great nights start/end. I buy 2 slices for each of us. We get back to the apartment and finish our food. We simultaneously stare at each other and realize that neither of us our full, yet. There was only one possible solution - 2 #2 meals from Mickey D's. So we go. And we order. And we leave. And I convince Weber to pour his coke on himself on the way home. The kid is real. We get home and open up our bags of food, but unfortunately my burgers have ketchup all over them. I was upset, but Weber was happy because that meant that he could eat my burgers too. But he cooted out of that. That might have been his only unreal move of the night.


bong hits said...

Jweb, you broke that pitcher when you threw it.

And I will break the same pitcher over your head.

That is unless you cooters send me a freakin script!

Anonymous said...

Also, they are lighter and can be used around plants which prefer somewhat
acid content in the soil composition. Owning a regular lawn mower does not mean you have to give up on mulching your yard; you just
have to be willing to do some work. Mulch also keeps soil from being depleted of vital
nutrients, so gardeners do not have to rotate planting locations from year to year.