ZUBINO: BIG BEN'S BULL-SHIT

Editor's Note: This is the first in a 5-part series by Zubino about the loss of Ben Wallace. Followed by this entry (Denial) will be Bargaining, Anger, Despair and Acceptance. Please stay tuned...


By The Great Zubino
Realests Correspondent

I heard the news and went bezerk:

“No more Ben Wallace?! No more 'fro? No more Rebound Row?”

I started going crazy and frantically biting my nails thinking the era of the Pistons was over. Then I pimped smack my own self and thought, "stop acting like a bitch." The smartest thing the Pistons could have done is let Wallace go. This frees up much cap room (Wallace was the Pistons highest paid player) and opens up some options. The Pistons could:

- Sign Bonzi Wells (He’s comfortable with Sheed from the Portland years)
- Trade one of the starting 4 remaining and a bench or a pick for a star on another team*

A lot of people I tell this say I'm crazy - but I seriously think this could happen. The Pistons could trade bench players and money for a star like KG or maybe Jermaine O’Neal - who knows.

I’m one of the people that’s happy now that Ben Wallace is gone. The organization paid him too much for only defense. If I was Joe Dumars, I would have gone up to Ben and showed him how strong my pimp hand was, then lower the deal to show him to know his role. Ben left so he could get more money, but he already has a ton from his previous occupations:

96-99 Washington- Accumulative 1.2 million over 3 years
2000 Orlando- $700,000
01-06 Detroit- A shitload more - over 25 million

I’m excited for the Pistons now: Every time we go to the foul line, we won’t have to pray for Ben to at least hit rim 100% of the time. Go Pistons.


Joe Dumars on Ben: “Who you haters think you talkin' to? I'm the fuckin' boss white on white G4, Hater get lost...”