During our trek to Ann Arbor, Varun and I listened to the radio for the first time in years. We hate to sound cliche, but hip-hop really is dead. Here are the rappers we blame most for its demise:


Real Name: Tohri Harper
Age: 24
Hometown: St. Louis, MO
Albums: Murphy's Law
Crew: St. Lunatics
Quotable: "See I'm starving like Marvin gurl - I've got sixteen bars of firrre"
Sport's Equivalent: Manny Ramirez - really dim-witted, in a childish sort of way
Comment: Fitting album title - wonder if Murphy has any idea what it means...


Real Name: LaRon James
Age: 23
Hometown: Harlem, NY
Albums: From Me To U, What The Game's Been Missing!
Crew: The Diplomats
Beef: Ma$e
Quotable: "I'm a baller baller, you're not at all a baller"
Sport's Equivalent: Delmon Young - young, brash and stupid
Comment: Definitely the dumbest rapper in the game - this guy once said he worshipped Mohammed Atta for his "courage behind the wheel of the plane"


Real Name: Mason Betha
Age: 29
Hometown: Jacksonville, FL
Albums: Harlem World, Double Up, Welcome Back
Crew: G-Unit
Beef: The Diplomats, Fabolous, Loon
Quotable: "Paint my picture, clear as Mozart"
Sport's Equivalent: Johnnie Morton - huge pretty boy
Comment: Hey Ma$e, wasn't Mozart a musician?


Real Name: David Brown
Age: 25
Hometown: Nashville, TN
Albums: Straight Outta Ca$hville
Crew: G-Unit
Beef: Cash Money, The Game, Ja Rule
Quotable: "We showed love but wasn't no love showed back - Whoa Kemo Sabe, what part of the game is that?"
Sport's Equivalent: Pacman Jones - grimey
Comment: Fortunately, we can't understand a word he is saying anyway


Real Name: Joseph Jones
Age: 30
Hometown: Harlem, NY
Albums: On My Way To Church
Crew: The Diplomats
Beef: Ma$e, Loon, Tru Life, Nas, Junior M.A.F.I.A. - pretty much everyone
Quotable: "Call me Richochet Rabbit, cause I click and spray matics"
Sport's Equivalent: Danny Fortson - just a punk
Comment: The guy calls himself "One Eye Willie", which is really funny... if you're in 3rd grade


Real Name: Cameron Giles
Age: 30
Hometown: Harlem, NY
Albums: Confessions of Fire, S.D.E., Come Home With Me, Purple Haze, Killa Season
Crew: The Diplomats
Beef: Jay-Z, Junior M.A.F.I.A., Ma$e
Quotable: "Just hear woop, woop, whant, whant, beep, beep"
Sport's Equivalent: Damon Jones - all style, no substance
Comment: Cam, we can't take you seriously with that coat on

Dishonorable mention:
Lil' Scrappy, Birdman, Ying Yang Twins, Lloyd Banks, The Game

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