SHAMAKER TAKES 'M' HOOPS TO NEW LOW

As freshmen, me and my fellow classmates endured one of the most embarassing moments in Michigan sports history.

"34-2."

For those that have supressed this moment from their memory, that's the score Michigan trailed by at Duke on Dec. 9, 2000 (for extra fun, check out the starting lineups for that game here).

The Cameron Crazies chanted it the entire game and all anyone could say on campus for a week was, "34 to fuckin' 2!" Although we still haven't lived that humiliation down, one good thing resulted: it became the rallying cry for Brian Ellerbe's head.

This whole game was Amaker's 34-2. A 37-point loss to a marginally more talented and extremely undersized UCLA team was just as embarassing.

Consider the fact that this was UCLA's biggest win of the season. That means Chaminade, Long Beach St., UC Riverside, CS Fullerton, Oakland and Sam Houston State were all more competitive than Big Blue. And the only reason Amaker's "Point a Minute Team" reached 55 points is because the Bruins put the defense on cruise control as soon as they went up by 20.

By the way, how sweet was it when - coming out of a commercial break - CBS played "There must be some kinda way outta here!" Spectacular.

Of course, Amaker always thinks the problems are just so simple: we were too nervous, turned the ball over too much and started pressing. Maybe those excuses would have flown a couple years ago, but we're starting four seniors! Go ahead and guess how many seniors UCLA has on its entire team.

ZERO. And three of their starters are sophomores.

So at this point Bill Martin has three options:

1) Schedule 25 nonconference games
2) Join the MAC in men's and women's basketball
3) Replace Tommy Amaker next season and risk losing Manny Harris and Alex Legion

Only 45 more days until Sims-Oden I, folks! And don't worry, we're trying to set up a web page with a countdown clock with the same graphics and sound as "24."