NMSU REINSTATES PLAYER WITH MUNCHIES

Following up on our coverage of New Mexico State basketball player Tyrone Nelson, who was accused last week of robbing a pizza delivery guy, comes news that Nelson has been re-instated to the team because an "NMSU committee feels robbery evidence doesn't point to junior."

From the Albuquerque Journal:

"Nelson was charged with robbing the delivery man of pizza and hot wings last Tuesday at a Las Cruces residence.

He was arrested last Thursday at Mesilla Valley Mall after a tip placed him there and the delivery man identified him as the suspect...

(AD McKinley) Boston said the committee of "six to eight" persons were given the criminal complaint and interviewed Nelson. Boston would not comment on the likely outcome of the judicial process.

"If the evidence is clear that suspension is warranted, we would sustain it," said Boston.

"But the worst-case scenario is to suspend an athlete and then await the outcome of judicial proceedings, which could be six months. Let's say the finding is not guilty. In this case, the athlete would have missed six months of competition and unfairly endured six months of public humiliation." "

Now we are all for innocent until proven guilty and we certainly don't want to be accused of racial profiling (OK, that's exactly what we are doing...), but how many 6-foot-9 black guys are in Las Cruces, New Mexico????

Our guess is one...

We'd say Reggie Theus lost a lot of respect over this, but then again, the guy was in Hang Time. So maybe - in a weird way - he actually gained our respect by acting like a real coach ...


Out on bail, fresh outta jail, California dreamin’, soon as Nelson step on the scene he’s hearin’ hoochies screamin’...

PRESCOTT BURGESS: THE NEW PIERRE WOODS

A lot of you are too young to remember this, but Pierre Woods used to be a monster.

In 2003, Pierre was second on the team in tackles (68) and led the team in TFL (14) and sacks (7). He was tearing people's faces off in the 2004 Rose Bowl against USC.

Then the guy basically pissed away his final 3 years.

Well Prescott Burgess is on the same path to obsurity. An absolute freakshow at 6-4, 250, Prescott has been given a seat on the bench by Lloyd Carr in favor of Chris Graham (that's right, Chris Graham, not Brandon Graham).

That's a pretty big fall-off for a guy that was rated the 16th overall recruit in the country by Tom Lemming in 2003 (ahead of JaMarcus Russell and Brady Quinn).

The best part is, no one else even realizes how much this guy sucks. Phil Steele ranks Prescott as the 5th best OLB in the country this year and Fox Sports ranks him as the 67th best prospect for the 2007 Draft.

Prescott: it's time to wake up ...


Get those fingernails sharpened ....

REALEST OF THE WEEK

There are times when someone does something so real it reminds us why we run this website. This is one of them...

From the AP:

New Mexico State University star forward Tyrone Nelson has been suspended from the team pending an investigation into allegations that he robbed a pizza delivery man...

"The situation is not consistent with Tyrone's character, but we will get to the bottom of what happened," NMSU head coach Reggie Theus said.

Nelson was a first team All-Western Athletic Conference player last year for the Aggies. He averaged a team-high 17.8 points and 8.7 rebounds during the 2005-06 season.

It'd be easy to blame this on Nelson, but we're going to point the finger at the administration. How do you expect discipline on the team when your coach is the guy from "Hang Time"?

BIGGEST 'M' FOOTBALL BUSTS IN PAST 5 YEARS

5. DAVID UNDERWOOD

Tom Lemming Rank (Class): #66 (2001)
Ranked ahead of...: Craphonso Thorpe (#71), Matt Leinart (#76), Kyle Orton (#86)
Skinny: Underwood was supposed to be Chris Perry's successor heading into the 2004 season. After playing like crap against Miami Ohio, Underwood got a "concussion" on the second play against Notre Dame. He basically never saw the field again, as Mike Hart rushed for over 1,400 yards.
Whereabouts: Unknown (although he does have a Facebook profile)

4. RYAN MUNDY

Tom Lemming Rank (Class): #31 (2003)
Ranked ahead of...: Donte Whitner (#47) , Mario Williams (#90)
Skinny: This guy was ranked ahead of Donte Whitner coming out of high school. Whitner was just the 8th overall pick of the 2006 NFL Draft, while Mundy is just looking to start after missing almost the entire 2005 season with a shoulder injury. You can't fault a guy for being hurt, but Mundy wasn't exactly a shutdown corner in 2004.
Whereabouts: University of Michigan

3. CLAYTON RICHARD

Tom Lemming Rank (Class): #22 (2003)
Ranked ahead of...: LaMarr Woodley (#27), Ernie Sims (#28), LenDale White (#39)
Skinny: A two-sport star in football and baseball, "The Rocket" was supposed to be the next Drew Henson. Instead, Richard's college career went about as well as Henson's career - Rocket was a complete bust.
Whereabouts: Playing for the Chicago Cubs' Class 'A' affiliate in Kannapolis, NC

2. MATT GUTIERREZ

Tom Lemming Rank (Class): #26 (2002)
Ranked ahead of...: Jason Avant (#49), Drew Olson (#93)
Skinny: The kid never lost a game in high school. He was supposed to be the anti-Navarre: a winner that was mobile and... latino. As stated earlier, one of three things happened with Gutierrez: he actually injured his shoulder, was benched for disciplinary reasons, or was the subject of racial discrimination. Either way, he bombed big time.
Whereabouts: Idaho State (Division I-AA)

1. KELLY BARAKA

Tom Lemming Rank (Class): #16 (2001)
Ranked ahead of... Larry Fitzgerald (#24), Shaun Cody (#28), Marlin Jackson (#31)
Skinny: Who else? Superman had Kryptonite, Baraka had Ganja. The all-everything RB from Portage Northern got busted for weed not once, not twice, but three times before getting the boot from Lloyd Carr (or at least we can speculate he was busted the third time). He never played a down.
Whereabouts: Unknown (Last anyone heard, he transferred to Joliet Junior College)

WILLIE WILLIAMS SWEEPSTAKES OVER???

Are we the official blog of Willie Williams? We just might be. Anyway, the infamous former Miami LB who was arrested 10 times in high school and kept a diary for the Miami Herald, just might have found a taker. From today's Atlanta Journal Constitution:

"Former University of Miami linebacker Willie Williams has enrolled at West Los Angeles College, the community college's coach, Craig Austin, told The Miami Herald. Williams, whose record of 11 arrests was revealed the day he signed a letter-of-intent with Miami in February 2004, asked the Hurricanes to release him from his scholarship in July."

Are the sweepstakes really over? Or is this another false alarm, like the reports he was attending West Virginia, Pearl River CC and College of the Sequoias?

Only time will tell...

Stop teasing us, Willie!

GETTING OUR GUTZ ON

All this talk about Michigan quarterbacks has gotten us sentimental, so we decided to track down former Michigan QB Matt Gutierrez.

You remember him - he's the guy from De La Salle everybody wanted at quarterback instead of John Navarre. One of the top QB recruits in the country in 2002, no one's quite sure why Gutz never got his shot.

Did he really hurt his shoulder before the 2005 opener against Miami (OH)?

Was he suspended from the team on the downlow?

Is Lloyd Carr a racist?

I guess we will never know. But if it makes you feel any better, Gutz is having a "torrid" fall camp, according to the Idaho State SID (BTW, the Bengals are Division 1-AA).

Gutz's stats in two scrimmages: 21-for-30, 296 yards, 5 touchdowns, 1 INT.

Way to go Gutz - don't let the man hold you down...

WILLIE WILLIAMS UPDATE!

It's that time again, folks. From yesterday's Miami Herald:

Former UM linebacker Willie Williams did not show up at College of the Sequoias, and his attorney, Paul Lazarus, said he would not be going there.

Sequoias offensive coordinator Andy Siegal, a former head coach at Miami Coral Park High, said he called Williams at least 20 times with no response after Williams called Sequoias last Thursday asking about playing there.

Siegal said he heard through former connections in Miami that Williams might play at West Los Angeles College, a community college that plays in the Competitive Western State Conference.

Beggers can't be choosers, Willie...

HENSON TAKES IT IN THE POOPER - AGAIN

Despite a "breakout" season in NFL Europe, Drew Henson has gotten the boot from Bill Parcells and the Dallas Cowboys. This comes two years after Henson quit baseball because he whiffed on more curveballs than Pedro Cerrano.

Let's put this in perspective for you:

* The Cowboys' No. 2 quarterback, Tony Romo, played Division 1-AA football at Eastern Illinois and went undrafted in 2003.

* Drew Henson was taken in the 6th round that same year (192nd overall) by the Houston Texas, even though he was playing baseball at the time (by the way, this AP story is wrong - Henson was not drafted in 2002).

* The guy everyone wanted to bench for Henson at Michigan, Tom Brady, is a 3-time Super Bowl champion.

* Henson's disastrous replacement, John Navarre, is STILL in the NFL (although we maintain his move to the sporting goods industry is imminent).

Here's hoping the Lions take a chance on him - Henson can't be any worse than Dan Orlovsky. Otherwise, it might be time for Drew to break out the glove again....


"There's always going to be haters" - Drew Henson

VOTE FOR PEDRO?

We came across this picture of the 1974 National Champion USC Trojans. For some reason, #11 stood out to us:

REALEST OF THE WEEK

It wasn't even close:

SAM KELLER A MICHIGAN MAN???

You gotta feel for Arizona State QB Sam Keller. After originally committing to Michigan (his dad starred for the Wolverines), Keller headed to ASU after Michigan signed Chad Henne.

Well Keller just took it in the pooper again...

ASU coach Dirk Koetter announced Keller the starter, then took it back almost immediately. Not only does this make Koetter a favorite for Realest of the Week, it puts Keller on the free-agent market with Willie Williams.

That's right folks, it's possible Keller and Williams end up at Michigan. Keller has two redshirt years available (one for transferring, one waiting for Henne) and could start in between the Chad Henne and Ryan Mallett eras.

This guy torched the Pac-10 last season - imagine how good he will be with two years of practice?

It sounds laughable now, but what if Henne goes pro after this year? Certainly Carr won't repeat the same mistake he made with Drew Henson, will he???


Pointing east?

Willie's reaction to the news...

WHO'S THE BIGGER DOUCHE?

We feel like a lot of people don't realize President George W. Bush and "Access Hollywood" host Billy Bush are cousins. Since both of them are running our country into the ground in their own separate way, we decided to find out once and for all who is the bigger douche:

BILLY BUSH

Occupation: "Access Hollywood" host
D.O.B.: Oct. 13, 1971 (34 years old)
Given Name: William Hall Bush
College: Colby
Looks Like... The Devil
Obnoxious Climax: Asking Naomi Watts "Watts Up?!" at the Academy Awards
Biggest Critic: Billy Crystal - called other Billy "the most annoying man in show business" (seriously)

GEORGE W. BUSH

Occupation: President of the United States
D.O.B.: July 6, 1946 (60 years old)
Given Name: George Walker Bush
College: Yale
Looks Like... A chimpanzee
Obnoxious Climax: "The Pet Goat" debacle
Biggest Critic: Michael Moore - tried to ruin George W.'s life for past 5 years

S.O.A.P = HORRIBLE = FANTASTIC = REAL

Snakes.
Planes.
Snakes on a Plane.
Mothafuckin'.
Mothafuckin' Snakes on Mothafuckin' Planes.

That, in a nutshell, is "Snakes on a Plane." The Great Zubino and myself went with a few friends to catch a screening of Sam Jackson's newest movie on Thursday night. I have no doubt that I was the oldest person in the theater. Now, loyal readers know that The Realests are not mature, would never pretend to be mature, and find the concept of pretending to be mature very douchebaggy. Well, I think I was a little too mature for the movie. It was a sad realization as I sat there thinking "Who thought this was a good idea?" while my brother sat three seats down from me, the veins on his face almost exploding from laughter, shaking our entire row of seats out of excitement.

A few highlights from the movie:
1) The bad guy from Karate Kid 2 is the bad guy.
2) Nudity.
3) Snakes biting penises, nipples, and eyeballs.
4) Keenan Mitchell, of SNL and Nickelodeon fame, being a hero.
5) Sam Jackson screaming, "Turn this big motherfucker left!!!"

Lots of people will talk about how great this movie is for blogger culture, etc. And it is. But it was a bad movie. A gloriously bad movie. And one that The Realests will definitely own on DVD when it comes out.

WILLIE WILLIAMS SWEEPSTAKES BACK ON!

Just when we finally gave up hope Willie Williams could end up a Wolverine, Pearl River Community College in Mississippi has rejected Willie three days after saying they would let him play.

Lloyd Carr, are you listening?!??!

Hang in there, Willie!

FACEBOOK PICTURES OF THE WEEK

We're pretty perplexed by the latest finding on Facebook. If you look through Braylon Edwards' pictures, you will stumble across multiple shots of Braylicious flashing this sign:


Bray, stop flexin' ...

Oddly enough, Mike Hart has also adopted the "Four Duece" hand sign:



We can't quite figure this out. With these pretty boys, we can cross off a gang sign. And with just two digits, surely it's not an area code thing.

So what does it mean?

The mystery of the "Four Deuce" might never be solved...

UNC WOMEN'S SOCCER COACH A DMX FAN?

Two blips in the news were the release of DMX's new album, "The Year of the Dog - Again" and the reopening of the sexual harassment case of North Carolina women's soccer coach Anson Dorrance.

While reading over the case, we can't help but compare the allegations against him to the intro of DMX's old hit, "How's it Going Down." Furthermore, both the allegations and the song date back to 1998. Coincidence? We think not.

Allow us to compare:

DORRANCE

Courtesy of the Durham Herald-Sun:

"In a one-on-one meeting in Dorrance's hotel room during the College Cup in December 1996, Jennings said in a deposition that Dorrance grilled her about her grades and social life.

"Who are you (fucking)?" Dorrance is alleged to have said.

"None of your (fucking) business," Jennings said in response."

DMX

Guy: Whose dick you sucking?
Girl: Don't call me with that bullshit, alright
Guy: You lying, you lying to me, Di
Girl: Yeah exactly
(cont.)
Guy: Lying ass bitch. You ain't shit. Do I got to hollar his name too?
Girl: Who the fuck is he!?
Guy: Bitch you fuckin him!


Pervert ... or just an X fan???

THE NEW YORK POST IS PURE EVIL

That's always been true, but the Post's coverage of Paul Lo Duca is just ridiculous. First, they made his divorce a front page story, accussing him of adultery. Then they ran a story about a teenager he's boning that he met at "18 & Over" night at a Long Island bar.

And now this: more accusations from another 19-year that claims she's hooked up with Lo Duca and is now heart broken. Are you kidding me? Two choice excerpts:

"She said that he only called her when in town with the Marlins or Mets and that the pair had their romps exclusively at the Westin and the Hyatt, where he occasionally stayed."

"You never know how many are out there," the shattered 19-year-old said. "He put on a good show. [It seemed like] he cared about me. He was a nice guy. Now I know it was all a show." "

What are you talking about bitch? The guy ONLY called you when in town with the Marlins or Mets, and you're saying he put on a show? Sounds like he was pretty up front to me...

Not evil enough? Here's the real kicker:

"On the straying slugger's sexual prowess in bed, Alisio then added, "He's all right but below what I expected." "

Wouldn't want to be the Post's Mets beat writers after today's game...

WILLIE WILLIAMS TO... PEARL RIVER CC???

After weeks of speculation, the best LB in college football - Willie Williams - has officially transferred from Miami. The rumor mill was spining about Willie's destination - Yahoo sports had him going to West Virginia, then Louisville and Troy jumped into the mix.

Where did he finally end up?

Pearl River Community College.

This is a loss not just for Michigan fans, but college football fans in general.

No Willie, thumbs down ...

BO SCHEMBECHLER SPEAKS

There's two people connected to the Michigan Athletic Department that tell it like it is - Rich Maloney and Bo Schembechler.

It's not always good when Bo opens his trap, i.e. saying the Michigan basketball coach will never make more than the football coach, which effectively scared away Rick Pitino.

But at 77 years old, this guy really just doesn't give a fuck. Check out some choice comments from a recent Free Press article:

"We don't need Notre Dame. They need us more than we need them."

"Hell, we're playing all these Big Ten teams. When Penn State came into the league, then we should do everything we can to get this Notre Dame series over with."

On Lloyd Carr wanting a playoff: "He's just talking. It sounds good. He doesn't want a playoff. I'll speak for him. He doesn't want a playoff."

"Can you believe what Bill Martin is doing to Michigan Stadium? The hell with him..."

OK, maybe that last one was made up...

BOBBY ABREU'S FIANCEE

We're not sure how to start this post...

Basically, we started talking about how much we loved "Temptation Island." The exchange between Billy and Mandy is one of the greatest reality show moments in history. While talking about this, someone mentioned that New York Yankees star Bobby Abreu went through a similar situation.

It sounds like bullshit. But it's not. Apparently, Abreu's fiancee went on a Mexican reality show and boned some sleeze bag. Of course, it's now on You Tube.

We've never liked Abreu - he's always seemed lazy. But you gotta feel for a guy after seeing something like this (by the way, Mexican TV is raunchy):

WE BETTER BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IOWA...

Every year, Iowa's Kirk Ferentz competes for the Big Ten title with inferior talent. This year it appears he is just mocking other Big Ten coaches with the lack of talent he is putting on the playing field. Check out Iowa's defensive line (from left: Alex Kanellis, Matt Kroul, Mitch King and Bryan Mattison).

Ferentz, you bastard!

GREATEST/WORST THING EVER

Find out which celebrity you live near!

WILLIE WILLIAMS UPDATE

Did you honestly think we had forgotten about the best linebacker in the country - Willie Williams?

As of Saturday, the AP was reporting Willie could be headed to Troy of all places:

Linebacker Willie Williams is in discussions with Troy University in Alabama about possibly transferring there after receiving permission from the University of Miami to do so, a Troy official said Friday night.

Ricky Hazel, the sports information director for Troy, said the school is interested in Williams and that UM on Thursday told Troy it would release Williams from his Miami scholarship to play there. Hazel said Troy defensive coordinator Jeremy Rowell has spoken with Williams and those discussions will continue.

''We're working on it,'' Hazel said.
UM spokesman Rick Korch said Williams has not told UM where he will transfer, but that he has been given permission to transfer to Troy, which could give Williams a scholarship.

For a guy that gained fame from writing about getting wined, dined and 69ed from all the major college football programs, this would be a very disappointing pick.

Obviously, Lloyd Carr is still one phone call away from bringing Willie to Ann Arbor, but time is running out ...

We love you Willie!

JOE LUNARDI: MAD BRACKETOLOGIST

From the same network that just broke down the entire 2007 Playoffs comes Bracketology in August.

Predicting NCAA Tournament teams before the season is one thing. Projecting match-ups, Last Four In and Last Four Out is just insanity.

This is what you will eventually stumble upon after reading Andy Katz's Michigan preview. Apparently, Joe Lunardi has a lot of time on his hands.

Rest easy Michigan fans - the Wolverines are going to make their first NCAA Tournament in 9 years in 2007 (that's right, start booking the tickets to New Orleans). But there won't be much time for celebration - Michigan is getting a (9) seed, and a tough first-round draw against perennial giant-killer Southern Illinois.

Even worse, if Michigan survives, they'll have to face Big Baby and the Bengals in the Bayou. That seems pretty unfair - it's a good thing we have 6 months to bitch about it. Go Blue.


Joe: Put the bracket down ...

REMEMBERING WHY WE LOVE THE NFL...

A little part of the NFL dies each time someone writes about Terrell Owens.

With round-the-clock coverage on how T.O. is getting along with his teammates and Bill Parcells or pulling his hamstring, it's getting really easy to forget why we love the NFL.


Luckily, I found two clips that bring those old feelings rushing back, even in August...

REALEST OF THE WEEK

As someone that's been arrested for urinating in public, I've got a soft spot for guys out there like Red Berenson that have been brought up on the same charges.

But my heart really goes out to former "Up Close" host and ESPN field reporter, Gary Miller. You remember him: he was the guy with the shit-eating grin stuck on his face.

Well check out what happened to Miller in between games of the 1997 ALCS between the Indians and Orioles.

From the AP:

CLEVELAND - ESPN's Gary Miller, a host for the cable sports network's "Baseball Tonight," was arrested Saturday and charged with urinating out the window of a Cleveland nightclub onto off-duty police officers.

Miller, 40, of Branford, Conn., was arrested at about 1:30 a.m. at The Basement, a popular dance club in Cleveland's Flats neighborhood. He was charged with public indecency, aggravated disorderly conduct and resisting arrest, police Sgt. Mark Hastings said...

Hastings said Miller was seen urinating out an upstairs window at The Basement. Two undercover officers were sprayed with urine, Hastings said.

The R. Kelly of sports?

THE END OF AN ERA

It's with a heavy heart I break news that Cavaliers' play-by-play guy Michael Reghi has been fired. Apparently, owner Dan Gilbert decided to whack him in favor of Pistons play-by-play man Fred McLeod, a personal friend of Gilbert's.

Whether he was screaming "WINE AND GOLD!" and thinking of new lines for LeBron James to get on "Sportscenter" (i.e. "Flight 23 is prepared for takeoff!"), Reghi was a doofus. But he was our doofus.

I mean, look at this guy's blog or his statement following the news: "Cleveland is my home and where my heart belongs. I've poured extreme passion into my work with the Cavaliers."

He bled whine and gold.

It's a sad day for Cavalier fans, Usher and Moondog. The Cavaliers' flag is definitely at half-mast today.


This backward shot's for you, Reghi...

HAYES GROOMS IMMORTALIZED?

We love Tommy Amaker retiring numbers left and right to turn attention away from the court. Everyone scratched their heads when we retired Bill Buntin's No. 22 last season.

Are we seeing correctly - is Hayes Grooms next? I'm serious: doesn't that guy next to him look like former Michigan AD Tom Goss?

Something fishy is going on here...

TROUBLE IN PARADISE

With the recent signings of Alex Legion and Manny Harris, things are starting to look up for the Michigan basketball program.

Then came devastating news from the NCAA yesterday:

The NIT Committee has decided to reduce the field for its postseason tournament to 32 teams. The tournament had expanded to 40 teams in 2002.

Committee Chair C.M. Newton said a study of team and fan feedback determined that the postseason tournament is best structured when composed of four eight-team regions.

"Tommy: will you appeal this decision?"

REALEST OF THE WEEK

There have been a ton of submissions for Realest of the Week in the last couple days, namely Ken Jennings and Mel Gibson. But Syracuse wide receiver Max Meisel - all 5-foot-4 of him - is a hero.

I mean, the guy got carried off the field in the Spring Game.

But it's what he did high school that must be acknowledged over 2 years later.

From the local ABC station in Weston, CT (who, unfortunately can't spell the kid's name right):

Max Miesel didn't get very far with his prom date – who's a porn star.

Max won a date with adult film actress Tyler Faith on Howard Stern's show Friday. Max is a student at Connecticut's Weston High School.

The Advocate of Stamford reports school officials and Max's parents stepped in before Saturday's prom. Max said his dream was to take a porn star to the dance. But it was dream unfulfilled.

Weston High Principal Mary Kolek says a date with a porn star violates the school's prom guidelines.

Kolek said Max would be allowed to attend – with a more appropriate date.

Really, Principal Kolek? It was in the guidelines that no porn stars are allowed at prom? We find that hard to believe...

Let's hope this story gains legs and she must answer the public's outcry over this matter...