There's really no point in even describing the heroics of LeBron James last night.

Stepping up for Varejao after McDyess hacked him, faking a limp to milk the endorsement dollars and then pulling the Kellen Winslow act like he had to be carried off the court - the guy needed to take a bow after the game.

Our only criticism is that Mike Brown didn't push LeBron off in a wheelchair with an IV sticking in him.

All of these things combined with LeBron dunking the last 15 shots of the game pushed V-Dot over the edge as he announced he was entering the Witness Protection Program.

Judging from last night, Tayshaun Prince might want to join him.

He will now be starting over somewhere on the West Coast with a new identity to avoid the public humiliation of losing to a team with Varejao, Sasha Pavlovic and Drew Gooden's pubic hair on the back of his head.

Nike better starting printing those T-shirts like crazy...

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