THE REAL (OLD) WORLD

MTV is struggling. It's pathetic at this point. The only bright point on their schedule is the glory of the Gauntlet/Inferno. The reality challenges are by far the most compelling programming they have - TRL is like an old prize fighter that can barely stand up straight but continues to fight, the dating shows are just a showcase for ugly sluts and idiotic fratboys (and don't even have the saving grace of being funny), and there's no reason to wait around for videos when you can watch them immediately on the internet.

These problems clearly lead the brainiacs at MTV to take drastic measures. Their grand solution? Real World Reunited: Vegas.

Originally, the Realests were amped to watch the newest installment. The Vegas Crew was one of the all-time greats - they really had everything (fights, sex, pregnancy scares, racism, more sex, threesomes, more sex, idiots). So, of course, we assumed that there would be more of the same this season.

Boy were we wrong.


There's nothing worse than a fallen champion - and that's what these people have become. Unfortunately, it looks like the biggest surprise this season might be Frank and Steven doing each other in the confessional room. After watching last night's episode, where Irulan demanded to leave the show over Frank gleeking on her and Arissa contemplated leaving because the suite was dirty, I realized how bored I was. Now, does this mean that I have finally become too mature to watch this crap?? No. Of course not. It simply means that I need smuttier and more degrading stuff to entertain myself.

Now, The Realests aren't the type of people to just point out problems and not provide solutions. So, here goes... Our solution is a Real World where each cast member is their 30's or 40's. Think about how genius that would be! There's nothing more pathetic than old people getting smashed! Old people have WAY more problems than younger people! Instead of watching young people that are shells of their old selves we could watch old people that are shells of themselves!

Brain Graden, take notes. That's realety tv.