REALESTS' TAKE ON KIRK FERENTZ RUMORS

If the latest rumor at MGoBlog is true, Brian Cook is the Bob Woodward of Michigan football.

In his own words, his "high level summary" is that "Ferentz is the #1 candidate and either has already been or will be offered the job."

First let us state that as evidenced by breaking Lloyd Carr's retirement, it's MGoBlog's world - we're just a squirrel trying to get a nut.

Side note: Major props to Brian for putting the mainstream media on blast after giving him zero credit for breaking the story. Seriously, if you want to ignore blogs altogether, that's fine. But don't dick ride their material and cite the report as just "internet gossip" to fall back on if it's false - then claim you reported it when it turns out to be legit.

Now on to Ferentz. Our guess is that Bill Martin started raving inside the department about Ferentz about speaking/meeting with him and people jumped to conclusions since Bill Martin makes his mind up quickly. With all due respect to Brian, we believe his source might have gooed his pants after seeing MGoBlog break Lloyd's retirement and is itching to be cited as the "inside source" again.

Why are we so skeptical? If Bill Martin has known about Lloyd Carr's retirement for almost a year, as Mike Rosenberg reported, and made up his mind on Carr's replacement within a week of the Ohio State game, the man is a compulsive maniac.

You all know we aren't Les Miles fans, but if this rumor is true, Bill Martin will have passed on the man who many believe (or at least believed until he was exposed on Saturday) to be the perfect hire without even an interview.

Unless Martin has been holding secret meetings with coaches across the country William Walker-style, it appears Martin will be leaving his legacy up to one interview when almost any coach in America is there for the taking.

And that's not even mentioning Ferentz's near-.500 record over the last three seasons (19-18). Personally we think the criticism he's received over cheap housing and lawless players is very weak and will have no effect on his hiring.

As for our "inside" information, we have little to offer. Yeah, his oldest daughter went to Michigan (she's now in grad school at Iowa) and lived in South Quad freshman year - obviously a favor from Mary Sue Coleman. His daughter loved Michigan (who wouldn't?!) but proclaimed to "bleed black and gold!" Ferentz's son, Brian, played center for the Hawkeyes and Ferentz's other daughter also currently goes to Iowa.

Keep in mind that Ferentz has been shipped all around the country for the past 20 years. He's certainly found a home in Iowa City and though his kids are all growns up, we just can't see him moving (although a college job certainly offers more stability than an NFL head coaching gig).

All this combined with his allegiance to Hayden Frye makes it hard to believe Ferentz would bite.

Our guess is that Mary Sue Coleman is head-over-heels in love with him and is ringing in Bill Martin's ear. Ferentz is funny, charming, a complete class act and the nicest guy you'll ever meet. Oh yeah, and he single-handedly brought Iowa football back from the dead before she left for UM in 2002.

So for our executive summary: We think rumors of Ferentz-to-Michigan are greatly exaggerated and he will not be our coach in 2007 whether Bill Martin wants him to be or not.

Now back to being asinine dopes.