BAUER'S RETURN

Bauer came back like cooked crack this week. It felt like seeing an old friend after years of being apart. Except, this friend was sent to China and tortured continuously for the past few years while not saying a single word through his entire captivity. Needless to say, he was a sight for sore eyes.

But things felt different seeing Jack on the screen. He didn't have that same glint in his eye, that same killer instinct. It worried us. Maybe he'd lost a step. Maybe the two years of brutal torture had just been too difficult. Maybe Jack was tired of saving everyone's lives one more time.

Well, turns out that we were totally wrong to worry about Jack. The real answer to the change in Jack's appearance is the fact that he's turned into a vampire. That's right. A vampire. Proof? He bit a guy's neck off to escape and we're almost positive that he enjoyed it. Right before he spat out the blood that was spilling out of his mouth, he swallowed a little and smiled. Go back and check your TIVO's - it's all there. Also, he's been forced to live in the dark for the last few years, and we all know that vampires hate sunlight.

Needless to say, we've always loved 24 because of the unexpected flips. Last season, we started to think that the expectation of constant flips was inconsistent with the fliptastic nature of the program. But, this flip was totally unforeseen. So, kudos 24 - you've kept us on our toes yet again. Vampire Jack is much more of a flip that terrorists blowing up a nuclear weapon in the middle of Los Angeles. I can't wait to see how this plays out...

Also, Jack being a vampire explains why he hasn't died in the last 5 seasons. He's already dead...or undead...whatever, you get the point.