WE DON'T (K)NEED NO STINKIN' MOBILITY

Chris Webber's inability to move at a pace faster than a trot is the best thing to ever happen to the Pistons. Around the league everyone has been crediting him for his veteran savvy, his ability to mesh well with his teammates, his deft passing skills, and his silky smooth jumper. People say that these attributes are exactly what will help the Pistons come playoff time. But the haters have been saying that Chris Webber's lack of two (2) functioning knees is his greatest liability.

Well, those people are wrong.

If the Pistons learned anything from last year it's that too much of a good thing is actually a bad thing. Remember those 64 regular season wins? Did those do anything for us come playoff time? Don't think so. Remember the 4 All-Star selections? Did that help when Dwyane Wade was beating us (read: flopping all over the place) in the Eastern Conference Finals?

That's right - this year, less is more. It's been the theme all along. Somewhat of an addition by subtraction idea. Flip has said that losing Ben Wallace (4 time Defensive Player of the Year) and adding Nazr "The $40 Million Man" Mohammed actually made the team BETTER defensively. Just think what can happen when we replace Mohammed, who can sprint down the court on two good legs, with C-Webb, who could give a fuck about sprinting.

Actually, let's take this a step further. If 'Sheed has less mobility, he wouldn't be so tempted to drift out to the three point line and hoist up shots like it's no one's business. He'd stay on the block. And he probably wouldn't have been fast enough to leave Robert Horry during Game 5 of the NBA Finals (bonehead play indeed, 'Sheed).

In summary: less is more.

P.S: Flip Murray will no longer be called Flip Murray - he is a disgrace to the name and has done nothing (real or otherwise) this year. From now on, we should all call him Ronald Murray. Oh, and it's time to put him and Lindsay Hunter on the block and make a play for Zarko Cabarkapa.