REQUIEM FOR A BAUER

This isn't meant to replace Zubino's post but I need to get something off my chest.

24 is dead to me.

This season has been nothing short of an absolute fiasco. It's been heartbreaking to see this once proud show fall to the depths of disaster. Here are the key problems this year:

1. I don't care about any of these characters anymore. This was the long term problem created by the writers' decision to kill off all the characters last season. Now, there's no one to root for besides Jack. The Palmer family is laughable without David holding down the fort, I could care less about Milo and Morris, Bill and Karen are alright but are nothing more than role players, and Chloe hasn't done a damn thing yet this season. So that just leaves Jack - and he's been conspicuously absent for large parts of this season!

2. Jack isn't all alone this season. Jack's always been at his best when he's had to lie to everyone...even the people that are supposed to be on his side. This season he's been working along with the people at CTU and it makes me want to puke. I need to see Jack defy authority and lie to everyone to get things done. Ultimately, Jack should have said "Do you trust me?!" at least 433 times by now. The actual count is surprisingly low.

3. Jack's brother being the ultimate terrorist. This is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay to big a stretch. Granted, it's pretty ideal as a symbolic tool, but whatever. It's a little absurd the courage and bravery of the country's greatest hero is rivaled only by the evil and deception of his father and brother.

4. Flips that aren't really flips. 24 tried to do the flip within a flip multiple times this season, but has failed miserable. First they tried to flip it with the brother being evil. Then they double flipped with dad and brother being evil. Then they triple flipped it with brother being evil. Then they quadruple flipped it with the dad being more evil than the brother. Usually, this would be sweet. Except for the fact that it was predictable. It's a disgrace. I hope they flip it for real and make the end of the season much more awesome than the beginning - now that would be unpredictable.

5. Enough with the lectures. I don't want any more lectures about habeas corpus, detention centers, the Constitution, blah blah blah. I think all that dialogue is a tricky move by Fox to cover up the fact that they are a mouthpiece for the Bush administration.

6. Keifer Sutherland told me that he was tanking this season. When I met him on the street he confided in me that his heart wasn't in it anymore and he was just doing the show for the money and for the chance to work with the daughter from Vegas Vacation.

I guess I shouldn't fully douse this post in Haterade. I will say that I have enjoyed Jack's ambivalence this season about torturing fools and his shock when his brother revealed his past evil doings. Moments of genuine emotion from Jack are always welcome.

That about sums it up for me. Next week's 2 hours episode is a desperate cry for attention (although I wouldn't be surprised if the show is getting the best ratings of its run). Also, despite everything I've said here, I'll be watching next week. Jim says he's given up - but we all know that he's a cooter and will be watching also.

Oh, and if the end of the season is awesome, I take back everything bad that I've ever said about the show.