BILLY WAGNER IS A WHINY BITCH

Those crazy 'M' Niners! Not only did they tie the New York Mets - coming one out away from a 4-2 win - they also pissed off Billy Wagner in the process:

Forget the Phillies. Billy Wagner nearly started a beanball war with the University of Michigan after one overzealous Wolverine tried to bunt on him in the fourth inning. With a runner on second and one out, centerfielder Kevin Cislo pushed his bunt foul.

Wagner, clearly annoyed, shook his head a number of times, and Cislo wisely swung away, grounding out. Wagner said he couldn't believe that Cislo, a junior, bunted.

"If he got that bunt down, I would have drilled the next guy," Wagner said. "Play to win against Villanova."

Asked about Wagner's reaction, manager Willie Randolph laughed.

"He couldn't bring himself to drill the kid," Randolph said. " Nolan Ryan might have. Nolan or Roger [Clemens] may have done it, kid or not."

Cry me a fuckin' river Wagner! Just cuz you played a huge role in the greatest meltdown in baseball history, don't take it out on Rich Maloney and Kevin Cislo.

And as for Willie Randolph, the shred of respectability left after your Subway ads with Joe Torre is now gone. An over-the-hill 36-year-old hack punching a college kid for bunting? That's assault, brotha! Although how sweet would it have been if there was a full-on brawl between the two?

Note to Mets: If you don't like it, maybe you should play other Major League teams! Unbelievable.

The Realests are calling on all Michigan alums in Major League Baseball (OK, so there's like 3) to throw straight for Wagner's noggin' the next time they face Billy Boy.

Rich Hill, we're looking at you here...