So we're plowing through Will Leitch's book, "God Save the Fan" - excellent for a sports book, though it's too heavy on the snark (but the guy runs Deadspin so hey, what did you expect?).
We're perturbed there was no shout-out to The Realests while talking about "Lucius Seymour" but the part that really got our attention was the story of Leitch's chance encounter with Tractor Traylor's wang while in Ann Arbor working for the Illinois student newspaper:
He looked at us and flashed a lopsided, toothy smile. And hten he did something strange: He took off his towel. He wasn't getting dressed or anything; he just took off his towel and let his large, uncircumsized penis hang there for all to see. He looked at us, as if to dare us to say anything, and, knowing full well we wouldn't, said, "Okay, whaddya got?"
It was a power move, of course: Traylor, all 320 pounds and twenty years of him, knew that we men would sit and write down whatever he head to say, no matter what. His job was to knock people over with his ass and ours was to ask him his opinions on the matter. Y'all are so pathetic, his eyes said, that I can whip out the old hog here and not only will you not say anything about it, you'll try to pretend it's not there and go about your business.
He was absolutely right.
We really wish we had Photoshop so we could stamp "Michigan Man" across the picture below (by the way, Tractor really lucked out not getting sent to federal prison, I'msure the fellas at the slammer would have loved you!).
We'll just have to settle for picturing Drew Sharp and the schmucks from the Ann Arbor News in that circle with Leitch guestimating how their Johnson measured up to the Tractor.
2.18.2008
"GOD SAVE THE FAN" PENIS EXCERPT
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