REALEST OF THE WEEK

It's a beautiful thing to watch Elijah Dukes and Milton Bradley step their games up after we just named them the No. 3 and No. 5 biggest cancers in sports, respectively.

Last night, Bradley went after a Royals announcer then broke down in the KC locker room for after what Milton perceived as a diss.

A night earlier, Dukes showed up the opposing pitcher, got into an argument with DC manager Manny Acta and then - in very third-grade fashion - shafted Acta during the postgame high-five line.

(How is there no video of this online?!?!)

Milton, we're sorry. But we've got to name Dukes R.O.W. for his amazing immaturity and forcing Acta to put up with his shit (Seriously, what kind of line is "What happens in Pittsburgh stays in Pittsburgh"???) despite the fact Dukes is barely above the Mendoza Line.

This can only end badly. And we love it.