BRITISH PEOPLE: RACIST OR STUPID?

I lived in England for the first four years of my life (so that gives me a free pass to say whatever I want about the country).

It's a good thing that I was young when I lived there because it allowed me to be unaware of the rampant racism and stupidity which pervades England.

Now, I can just hear most of you saying to yourselves or your friends as your read this blog post together - "Why would The Realests make such a broad and hurtful generalization about a whole country?:

Well, there are a few reasons for that.

#1 - It's a good way to get publicity and draw attention to ourselves
#2 - Unfounded generalizations are usually correct
#3 - ENGLISH PEOPLE ARE UPSET THAT JAY-Z IS HEADLINING THEIR MAIN MUSIC FESTIVAL

From what I can gather, Glastonbury is the English equivalent of our Lollapallooza, Austin City Limits, or Coachella. Usually, these shows are highlighted by rock acts, but in recent years rappers have broken through (Kanye, Lupe, The Roots, etc.).

Anyway, this year, the folks at Glastonbury decided that Jay-Z would be their headliner. This decision was met by lukewarm reviews by music fans (read: bigots) in England. Among the idiots is Noel Gallagher, of Oasis fame, who wants Jay-Z gone. People high up in the Glastonbury organization have basically all but said that they are upset that about the pervasive racism in England.

Now, Noel probably has beef because of the fact that Oasis hasn't been relevant for the last decade. I mean, it must be difficult to go from headlining Glastonbury and being the next Beatles to your Wonderwall crumbling and being forced to cook fish 'n' chips for blokes after they just watched the Arsenal - Man U match. Or, to quote Jay-Z, it must be hard to go "from top 10 to not mentioned at all."

Well, our main point? Jay-Z rules. And England's irrational hatred of Jay-Z can now be added to the list of reasons to hate England along with taxation without representation, bad teeth, bad food, rain, and Jude Law.