Kudos to Pat Riley for absolutely tanking it this year.

Finally someone has just officially said "fuck it, I'm playing for ping-pong balls" and why not?

Forget last year's Celtics, this might be the worst tank job since Major League. We can actually picture Pat watching it on DVD right now and saying to himself, "A serious of fines for good play? A motor boat engine in the whirlpool? Genius!!!"

Although we're not exactly sure how much more insight he gets into his lottery pick by watching Eric Gordon play Penn State. Seriously Riles, draft in this order: Beasley, Lopez, Rose. Easy enough?

As for Wade, I'm slightly perturbed since he's on my fantasy team. But being outraged at the thought of missing the rest of the season right before shelving it also speaks highly of him.

And still the Heat almost won last night, dropping a 99-98 heartbreaker to the Clip Show.

What more can Riley do? We're glad you asked:

- Give Ricky Davis a 250k bonus for triple doubles - on either hoop
- Turn out lights at their end of American Airlines Arena to conserve energy
- Cut Shawn Marion for Brent Petway, citing their similar Hollinger ratings
- Insist Mark Blount gets 20 touches a game or else...
- Replace the entire squad with the AND1 Street Team

Wait, scratch the last one. It might actually help.

1 comment:

Walton's Wisdom said...

Now this post is just plain funny. I almost lost it when I read the Ricky Davis suggestion. That guy is such a disaster. I'll agree that any semblance of hope was lost in January, but it's a shame that Riles's track record gets him a free pass to throw the season. I posted a blog on the subject earlier this evening...