6.02.2008

TOP 10: BIGGEST CANCERS IN SPORTS

There's a little too many feel-good stories going around sports these days.

The Celtics and Lakers are meeting in the NBA Finals again, the Wings are one win away from another Stanley Cup and Big Brown is on the verge of the Triple Crown.

It's time for a reality check to remind everyone about everything that poisons the games.

Plus, the landscape of sports' biggest cancers has changed dramatically the last couple years and needs updating.

Just as a note, we've only included players on this list. It just got a little too complicated when you factor in Isiah Thomas, James Dolan, Matt Millen, Bill Bidwell, Donald Sterling, etc. Maybe we'll break that down another time.

Without further adieu, here's The Top 10 Biggest Cancers in Sports:

10. Eddy Curry

As everybody except Isiah already knew, Curry has 0 fight in him. Once asked how he could get more rebounds with the Bulls, coach Scott Skiles replied: "Jump." He's only gotten worse during his time in New York, as his weight has ballooned.

Benched off and on throughout last season, he looked completely numb to the punishment all year. In the most telling quote about Curry, Jerome Jones once said of him in an apparent compliment: "He gets 20 points a game with no effort."


9. Jose Guillen

In 2004, Guillen went bat-shit crazy on Angels manager Mike Scioscia after getting pulled for a pinch runner; Guillen was suspended the last two weeks of the regular season. Guillen stuck it to the Angels a year later by narcing on pitcher Brendan Donnelly for using an illegal substance on his glove.

Most recently, with the Royals' season heading down the shitter, Guillen ripped his teammates, saying: "We've got too many babies here... Now I know why this organization has been losing for a while." Mark our words, he won't make it through July in KC.


8. Jeremy Shockey

Once beloved by Giants fans, New Yorkers have turned on him after marching to the Super Bowl with Kevin Boss in his place. We're not sold on Eli Manning yet, but how was the guy expected to play well with Shockey bitching in his ear after every single play about how the Shock-dog was wide open?

Not only did Shockey pull a no-show for the Super Bowl, he skipped out on the ring ceremony as well. And of course there's the annual headache of forcing Shockey to workout with his teammates instead of pumping iron at The U.



7. Brandon Lloyd

Reported to be despised in the San Francisco locker room, Daniel Snyder fell in love with his highlight reel catches and threw $30 million at him. The two-year results: 25 catches, 0 TD. You do the math.

Lloyd basically separated himself from the entire team, showing up late for meetings (which resulted in a suspension) and always the first one out of the locker room according to DC Sports Bog's Dan Steinberg.

Chicago is now taking a chance on him by reuniting Lloyd with his former college coach, O-coordinator Ron Turner. Good luck with that.


6. Darius Miles

We should have known Jordan stating he would have picked Miles No. 1 was the kiss of death. I'll admit it, I've got his signed high school jersey framed in my basement, which I couldn't trade for a pack of saltine crackers. I even got caught up in the head knocks phase. Like bafoons, the Blazers chucked $48 at Miles after breaking through to become a double-digit scorer.

Aside from one 47-point game, since then it's been all downhill. In 2005, he humiliated coach Mo Cheeks in practice with racial slurs and stated he didn't care if Portland lost the next 20 games. The Blazers cut him this April, giving away the remaining $27.25 million to D-Miles for salary cap relief in a move that must make Paul Allen puke every day.

Miles has most recently been seen making it rain with Dennis Dixon and reportedly stuffing his face with bonbons. At least he's still got his acting career...


Stay tuned for Part II dropping on Wednesday.

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