2007 BIG TEN PREVIEW: MICHIGAN ST.

2006 Record: 4-8 (1-7)
Projected 2007 Finish: 9th
Returning Starters: 13
Head Coach: Mark Dantonio
Best Player: RB Javon Ringer

5 Reasons for Optimism:
- Somehow, Notre Dame might be even worse
- Everyone's expecting a breakout season from our boy, Kyle Sackrider
- The Spartans have changed their uniforms AGAIN...
- ... With names on the back so it's easier to identify who messed up
- Players are really fired up over the "Beat Michigan" clock (see picture)!

5 Reasons for Pessimism:
- Reaction to looking over the MSU roster: "Who are these fuckin' guys?"
- No John L. Smith for comic relief (Exhibit A and Exhibit B)
- Players have tuned out coaches since halftime of the Notre Dame game
- Sparty is a homo
- New coaches, but the team is still dumb as a box of rocks

Realety:Nothing says desperation like hiring the Cincinnati football coach - good luck taking over the 100th ranked scoring defense in the nation...