7.24.2007

2007 BIG TEN PREVIEW: MINNESOTA

With Big Ten Media Day just days away, the Big 10 team-by-team breakdown is picking up steam. Up next: The Glen Mason-less Minnesota Golden Gophers.

2006 Record:
6-7 (3-5 Big Ten)
Projected 2007 Finish: 8th
Returning Starters: 17
Head Coach: Tim Brewster
Best Player: RB Amir Pinnix

5 Reasons for Optimism:
- School finally realized players can't respect a coach that fake bakes
- Schedule includes BGSU, Miami (OH), at FAU, North Dakota St.
- Pinnix is the best back in the Big Ten (besides Mike Hart, of course)
- LBJ drought is at one year, which should buy Brewster a decade or so
- According to this web cam, TCF Bank Stadium is really comin' along!

5 Reasons for Pessimism:
- Coming off the biggest bowl collapse in college football history
- Punter Justin Kucek not exactly clutch
- Ranked 117th in pass defense, and that's before they found out...
- ... Their star CB is going to spend the season getting railed in jail
- New coach about as qualified for a Big 10 job as Punky Brewster

Realety:
Don't cha know?! The season hasn't even started and Brewster already has a migraine after dismissing four players due to absolutely disgusting sexual assault charges (see above)


Poor bastard...

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Great analysis, but I think you are a bit high @ 8th! These mopes will be lucky to win 1 game in the Big 10! In fact, D Jones will probably lead the team in "scoring" this year!!

PHawk

Anonymous said...

FINALLY, A PLACE WHERE REALITY CONCERNING THE GOLDEN SHOWERERS OF MN WILL NOT BE STRUCK DOWN BY SOME HOMER ADMIN!!! PROFANITY ALLOWED TOO?! EVEN WITH DANIELS AND JONES TAKING THEIR VIDEO ACT TO STLLWATER PRISON---GUYS LOVING GUYS "BEHIND" BARS---THESE IDIOTS STILL THINK THEY ARE GOING TO WIN 10 GAMES IN '07 AND HAVE A TOP 10 RECRUITING CLASS IN '08! FUCKING MORONS!

C-NOTE

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