Ann Arbor is going to be a mad house tomorrow.
We already hear there's a party on Greenwood in Terrelle Pryor's honor, and there will undoubtedly be endless banners at the frats welcoming him to town.
But wait till you get a load of this:
Don't ask us how we got our hands on it, but The Realests have obtained the Athletic Department's official Friday itinerary for Pryor's recruiting trip this weekend.
As you can see, Rich Rodriguez is pulling out all the stops for the nation's #1 recruit:
*************For internal use only*****************
8:00-8:15 AM: Schembechler Hall
Terrelle arrives!!! Meet and greet with Coach Rod, newly revamped Team Blue imported from State
8:15-10:00 AM: Coach Rod's Office
Shred files of entire 2006-07 Michigan team, starting with Ryan Mallett
10:00-11:00 AM: Lloyd Carr's Office
Trash the place, take turns pissing on Lloyd's desk
11:00 AM-Noon: Deja Vu
Brunch buffet at Coach Rod's new favorite spot:
12:00-2:00 PM: Campus
Tour of campus with Team Blue's newest member, AleXXXis
Note: Make sure she remembers stop at Grad Library
2:00-3:00 PM: South Quad
Private tour of dorms by the twins, Cindy and Mindy
3:00 PM: Michigan Union
Surprise visit by Noel Devine, who announces his plans to transfer to UM!!!
3:00-3:15 PM: Michigan Union
Pryor babysits Devine's kids while #7 hits the Union bathroom with Cindy & Mindy
3:15-4:00 PM: State Street Barbershop
Haircut with Rita Rodriguez with conversation to revolve around hilarity of Tyler Perry
Note: Extend open invitation for Pryor to bang Rita
4:00-4:30 PM: CCRB
"Introduction to Cliches" with Bruce Madej, pass out "Get Out Of Jail Free" cards courtesy of Coach Rod's lawyer, Sean McGinley
4:30-5:00 PM: Coach Rod's House
Tour of Coach Rod's new diggs:
5:00-6:00 PM: West Quad
"Taco" Night!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
6:00-7:00 PM: Schembechler Hall
More shredding.... there's still 125 years of history to go!
7:00-8:45 PM: Yost
VIP seating for Notre Dame hockey game with Bill Martin
Note: Remind security not to be alarmed by minority in attendance
8:45-9:00 PM: Yost Student Section
Bill Martin teaches Pryor "See Ya!" chant, adds: "You know who's a real c*ck sucker? That Jim Tressel."
9:00-9:05 PM: Campus Corner
Meet the guys, pick up booze, then porn, porn, and more porn
9:05-9:15 PM: Volleyball Frat
Meet up with Donovan Warren, show Pryor the place is dead, make him vow never to go back
9:15-9:30 PM: BETA House
Tell guy at front door you know "C.J.", steal sluttiest white chicks there, leave
9:30-9:35 PM: Phi Psi
Burn the bitch down
9:35-10:00 PM: Greenwood St.
Make cameo at own party, have Warren explain meaning of "Michigan hot"
10:00-10:45 PM: Delta Delta Delta
Panty raid with newly reinstated d-lineman Larry Harrison!
10:45-11:00 PM: Scorekeepers
Pick up fake IDs for all lower 48 states
11:00 AM-Midnight: Rick's Jewish American Cafe VIP
Meet and greet with Rick himself
Midnight: Rick's Jewish American Cafe Bathroom
Take turns snorting coke off asses of Cindy and Mindy
Midnight-1:00 AM: Rick's Jewish American CafeCelebrate with hockey team and puck sluts, win or lose
Note: Make sure Kevin Porter tells Pryor his second cousin's good friend is black
1:00-2:00 AM: Rick's Jewish American Cafe Dance Floor
Make it rain with budget for women's tennis team
2:00-2:50 AM: Pizza House
Meet up with former UM legend Larry Foote for pizza sticks and chipatas, then pound fools
2:50-2:55 AM: Diag
Regroup with AleXXXis, Cindy and Mindy, plus any additional groupies picked up
2:55-3:00 AM
Surprise delivery of 10 boxes full of pizza courtesy of Hello Faz... and by pizza we mean $100 bills
3:00 AM: Campus Inn
Lights out!!!!
5 comments:
Don't forget:
9pm - 10pm - stop by Oosterban field house to meet the straight half of women's golf team during practice - note: 'make the striaght girls dike it out for a bit anyway'
If you were a real Michigan hockey fan, you'd know one of the players is black (Scooter Vaughn).
hence the comment.
Reading comprehension will take you a long way in life.
This was great. Best post yet.
- Forest
I'll be helping with this visit.
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