5.22.2008

J.J. REDICK TRADED FOR HAM SANDWICH


In a season full of huge blockbuster deals, the latest swap could be the most shocking in NBA history.

In an unprecedented move, the Magic and Bobcats have agreed in principle to deal former Duke star J.J. Redick to the Bobcats after the NBA Playoffs for a ham sandwich, just days after Redick suggested the Magic trade him.

Said Magic coach Stan Van Gundy: “I’d like to thank Tony Kornheiser for suggesting this idea. We didn’t think we could get diddlie poo for J.J. The only time I wanted the kid on my team is if we played H-O-R-S-E in practice.

“And this isn’t just any ham sandwich. This is an Arby’s Ham and Swiss Melt, people,” said Van Gundy between stuffing his fat face.

Charlotte Bobcats managing member of basketball operations Michael Jordan was equally enthused.

“I know, I know. I sold my soul to the devil bringing in a Duke guy. But I really look at the acquisition of J.J. like when we got Steve Kerr in Chicago. And by that, I mean I look forward to punching his lights out in practice."

After an uncomfortable silence, Redick donned a Bobcats lid for the first time and posed for pictures.

“It’s good to be home,” Redick said as he popped the collar of his pink polo shirt.

When reached by phone about the deal, new Charlotte coach Larry Brown was caught off guard: “Redick? That little S.O.B. from Duke? Oh hell..." said Brown before hanging up.

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