5.12.2008

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS: BRIAN ELLERBE?

The first time we tried to hunt down a former Wolverine it didn't work out too well - Ernest Shazor is still AWOL.

But now The Realests are turning our attention to former UM basketball coach and fan favorite Brian Ellerbe.

With the venom fans speak of Ellerbe, you'd never know he was coaching under the dark cloud of the Ed Martin saga that destroyed more shit than the Smoke Monster. Or that then-AD Tom Goss was the even bigger boob, promoting a coach that had just been forced out at Loyola (MD) - Ugh.

Unsurprisingly, just one season removed from winning the 1st Big Ten Tournament title, Ellerbe drove UM hoops right off a cliff where it still remains.

Well we were quite surprised to find out Ellerbe left the coaching profession altogether (although who could blame the guy?) But even Quin Snyder has a head coaching gig, so surely B.E. could have caught on somewhere as an assistant.

Like always, Ellerbe took the road less traveled. Through multiple sources, we've discovered he has ended up in Las Vegas of all places.

What the hell he's doing out there is what we're counting on our readers to find out.

Like every other 20-something dudes, we're attempting to relive our college years over a summer weekend in Sin City during July. Assuming many of you have the same plans, we're calling all hands on deck to find Ellerbe while we're out there.

To help you out, we're even providing the Top 5 Places You're Most Likely To Find Coach B.

#5: Mandalay Bay Luggage Boy: OK, this was just too easy. Keep your game face on and eyes open because you'd only see him during your first hour there - the same time your head is spinning while you ponder two nights of drinking until 6 AM and pissing your money away.

#4: Terry Fator Stagehand: You think all those ventriloquist dolls take care of themselves??? Fator is no Danny Gans but you've got to start somewhere in Vegas.

#3: Cirque du Soleil Performer: If Ellerbe had the balls to move to Vegas, nothing else is really off-limits: Like him getting completely jacked and becoming one of these dudes below. Keep in mind, he might be hard to identify with all those crazy masks and shit...


#2: Tangerine Bouncer: Sticking with the Ellerbe Pulled a Carrot Top Theory, we can really see him taking out all his pent-up anger over the Jamal Crawford ordeal on some slick frat boys.

#1: Random Street Dude Passing Out Local "Strip Club" Flyers: We hope no Michigan Man could ever come to this, but we really can't rule anything out at this point.

Have a great trip everyone and happy hunting.

We'll report back to you on this at the end of August.

5 comments:

Scott said...

I'm going the last week of June, I'll keep my eyes peeled.

Q said...

My money is on Coach El holding down a spot in the Floyd Mayweather entourage. Maybe acting as his brother's valet?

RB said...

I moved out to Vegas about a year ago with no job, and I applied for a project management job at this construction firm, saw a business card with the name Brian Ellerbe on it, and had a brief laugh to myself, not thinking it could possibly be him. After reading this post and going through some old emails I found the name of it and sure enough here it is:

http://madisongrace.org/pages/OurPeople.htm

Anyway, big fan of the blog. Keeps me updated on those little Wolverine rumors that I never missed when surrounded by alums in Chicago.

Anonymous said...

I have it on good word that Ellerbe is in the construction business!

Anonymous said...

I have it on good word that Ellerbe is in the construction business!