The Stagnation

There's nothing worse than wasted talent. The Realests have been listening to "Pump It Up" for the last 3 years. When Joe Budden somehow snuck "Fire" onto the "Mean Girls" soundtrack (back when Lindsay Lohan was boobmatic), we stood up and applauded in the theater. Then we sat down when 17 8th grade girls threated to merck us. When Joe dropped "Porno Star" on us and ended every line with either dick, pussy, or sex - we thought he was a genius...a modern day Thoreau. When Joe got "Pump It Up" into the first season of Entourage, we made a pledge that Joe would do the soundtrack for the documentary about our lives. At the time, we worried that Joe might be too busy to help us out - after all, it's not easy being the streetz #1 draft pick. But after today, we think that Joey might drag us down.

#1 Pick? Just Call Me Olowakandi.

I ate lunch at The Pink Tea Cup today (best mac and cheese I've ever had) and guess who was sitting next to me. That's right...Jump Off Joe in the flesh. I froze. I couldn't go up to him and ask him when "The Growth" was gonna come out. I couldn't ask him why he thinks Mouse is a cool nickname. I just sat there and ate my mac and cheese. Joey finished eating and then went outside to sit on the stoop next door to the restaurant...for an hour. Joey - please get a job.

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