MICHIGAN BASKETBALL GONE WILD!

A J. Brady & The Realests Production
All Photos by T-Dizzle

Despite his failure, Graham Brown's crossover to football started to make his teammates think for a change. If you thought the team was bad last year, check out how many Cagers decided to follow in Graham's footsteps by switching sports....



Sherrod Harrell - Crew

Skinny: Never afraid of walking-on, Sherrod decided to go balls out by joining the crew team.
Michigan men’s crew coach Greg Hartsuff: “We’re excited to have Sherrod come out for crew. He already knows what it’s like to get shit on by the University, so that won’t be new to him. The only issue so far is that his tendency is to run the ‘swirly’ offense, and out here, that results in a whirlpool. It’ll take some getting used to...”

Brent Petway - Volleyball

Skinny: After whiffing the dunk in the NIT, Petway decided he needed more room to work. Without a varsity volleyball team, Petway was forced to transfer to Ball State.
Ball State men’s volleyball coach Joel Walton: “The transfer to volleyball has been a natural one for Brent. We let the other five players handle everything but the spikes. Brent is happy, and he’s even started rapping about our team being No. 1. He just got a D+ on a Science exam, we're all really proud of him.”

Ron Coleman - Golf

Skinny: Tigah, Tigah Woods ya'll!
Michigan men’s golf coach Andrew Sapp: "Ronald’s underachieving career for the basketball team was a psychological thing. He was so overwhelmed by trying to put up big numbers, the pressure to score would overcome him. He just didn’t have the ability to score more than 7 points a game. Golf’s a perfect switch for him because here, less is more."

Chris Hunter - Shot put

Skinny: Chris lived for the 3-point bomb and realized he's always been a shot put thrower at heart
Michigan men’s track and field coach Ron Warhurst: "Well, if you’ve followed Chris' basketball career, you know he already has a couple years of shotput experience. Especially toward the end of last season, I really saw some natural ability to chuck the shit out of a round object. I asked Chris to stay in Ann Arbor to train with me for the next two years for the upcoming 2008 Summer Games, and he accepted. Here, he doesn’t have to show any restraint at all: He’s got the green light all day.”

Courtney Sims - Tennis

Skinny: Got back to his roots after reocurring nightmares about Greg Oden.
Michigan men’s tennis coach Bruce Berque: "I don’t know if you remember, but Courtney was a better tennis player than basketball player coming out of high school. When he told us he wanted to join our team, we were ecstatic. The only issue has been getting him to remove that constipated look off his face when he’s about to serve. He said it’s a result of the same feeling he used to get when he would have to make a strong post move in basketball."

Lester Abram - Baseball

Skinny: Unable to take another season-long injury, he decided to join the 'M' Nine because the guys all seemed like a bunch of pussies, too.
Michigan baseball coach Rich Maloney: "Lester loved the idea of playing center field, but the experiment might be over before it ever really began. In his first game, he pulls a hammy coming to home plate. Can you believe it? The kid's already on the 60-day DL."

Dion Harris - Softball

Skinny: After watching the end of the Indiana game, Hutch knew Harris was the slap-hitter her team desperately needed.
Michigan softball coach Carol Hutchins: "This is a national championship program, and Dion struggled at first with the expectations we have for our players. Things like running out every play, running back and forth to the dugout and taking pride in what you do. The cheers were also really tough for him to get. Dion is very shy, but the girls are getting him to open up more. One day last week, all of a sudden, Dion started yelling, ‘There’s a hole out there! There’s a hole out there! There’s an H-O-L-E hole out there!’ I was proud of him. He’s trying."

Jevohn Shepherd - Ice Hockey

Skinny: Canadian native ran into the fellas at Rick's one night and realized the basketball team’s leftovers he’d been getting couldn’t hold a candle to the puckwhores.
Michigan hockey coach Red Berenson: “Je … Jev … Jevo … Bevo … Ah, the hell with it. Like with most of our players, we can expect Boy to have his best year on the ice in Year 1. After that, he can go back and play for Tommy for all I care. And believe me, I don’t care much.... I need more coffee.”

Jerret Smith - Women's Basketball

Skinny: Has now adopted the slogan, "I don't wrestle, I beat bitches up."
Michigan women's basketball coach Cheryl Burnett: "On the men's team, Jerrett lacked size, speed, ball-handling skills and definitely a shot. With his transformation to the women's game, Smith has all four. He's our go-to guy in the post - the kid's an automatic double-double. I can just taste a conference win..."

Tommy Amaker - Youth Soccer

Skinny: Like Herb Sendek, the job's pressure finally got to him. Herb went to the desert, Tommy went to the kids.
Huron Under-8 Blazers forward Jimmy Tinkler: “Um, we like Coach Tommy because he lets us run around in circles even more than our last coach. He never yells at us, even when I scored on the wrong goal last week. He said that he was just proud of me for making a goal at all. That was pretty cool.”