NCAA Realests Tournament

Note: Please read below for newer posts.......

The following is the NCAA Realests Tournament formed to decide The Releast(s) of NCAA Tournament history.

Your votes will determine the winner of the tournament - so enjoy reading this post and remember to vote!

We won't be blogging much in the next couple days because we are on a full-on campaign for this post. If we have a new post, scroll down the page as this remains at the top.

Please pass this on to anyone you know...........

FYI: Georgetown's Fred Brown and Kentucky's Patrick Sparks were the last two left out.

Note: the bracket was condensed to fit this blog - please click on the image for an expanded view.

First Round Matchups

(1) Darvin Ham (Texas Tech, 1996)

Recap: In the first half of a second-round game, Texas Tech's Darvin Ham shattered the backboard on a slam dunk putback. The game was delayed for 30 minutes, and then the Red Raiders continued throttiling the Heels - TT won by a final of 92-73.

Ham's postgame quote: "Everybody was giving me chest bumps and I just wanted to flex."

Real Reason: He is the ultimate "one-hit wonder" of basketball and will always be remembered just for that play.

Don't fake the funk on the nasty dunk...


(8) Coach Roy Williams (Kansas, 2003)

Recap: After Kansas lost in the 2003 national championship, CBS Reporter Bonnie Bernstein caught up with Roy outside the KU lockerroom. After a couple questions, she asked Roy about his level of interest in the North Carolina job because Matt Dougherty had just been fired. Roy's respone: "I could give a shit about North Carolina right now."

Real Reason: Our motto has always been "Squeeze first, ask questions last". Well, not only did Roy squeeze first, he didn't even ask questions. Also real for then taking the job and screwing Kansas in the process.

4) 1999 UConn team

Recap: We love when schools adopt team anthems (i.e. Memphis & "Whoop That Trick"). That's exactly what UConn did in 1999, busting out a rendition of DMX's "Ruff Ryders' Anthem" after winning the West Region.

After UConn miraculously beat Duke in the national championship, they immediately did it again as everyone watched and heard them on CBS. As if that wasn't enough, the players crowded around the microphone at the victory celebration for one more rendition.

Real Reason: We always love it when we picture producers screaming, "We can't air this shit!" And lastly, we just miss X. Here's a reminder of just how grimey he was:


5) Chris Webber (Michigan, 1992)

Recap: We all remember this one: Trailing to North Carolina, 73-71, in the national championship game, Webber called a timeout the Wolverines didn't have with 11 seconds remaining (let's not forget his blatant travel coming down the court, either). He received a technical, and the Tar Heels won the national title.

Webber was scarred forever, always shying away from the game's biggest moment in the NBA. I wonder: was this the worst moment of his life, or hearing that he was being tried for perjury? I'd go with this.

Real Reason: Like Al Skinner, another example of how stupidity can be brilliance.

Good thing this never really happened...

2) 1990 UNLV team

Recap: A lot of people credit the Fab Five with thugging-out basketball, but the UNLV Rebels were definitely the originators. With a bunch of future NBA Players (Larry Johnson, Greg Anthony, Stacey Augmom), the Rebels pounded Duke, 103-73, in the most-lopsided championship game ever.

And they talked a whole lot of shit too.

LJ's pre-game quote: "If we win, I think Coach ought to take the trophy and put it right in the middle of his desk. Then, if the NCAA guys come after him like everybody says, they'll have to look right at it."

LJ's postgame quote: "You can call us bad guys if you want to. And you can call us thugs. But at the end of it all, you can call us, 'national champions.' We'd appreciate that."

Real Reason: This photo says it all: three teammates in a hot tub, sharing beers with a known sports fixer. On a side note, too bad this picture cost "Tark the Shark" his job...

We'll let you guys figure out which one wasn't a Runnin' Rebel....


(7) Al Skinner (Boston College, 2001)

Recap: Trailing USC, 74-71, with 7.5 seconds to play in a second round game, Boston College's Kenny Harley drives to the rack and misses. Game over.

No one could figure out why the Eagles tried for 2 points when there was only time for a 3. Skinner's answer: ""Our philosophy is if there is time on the clock, get a good shot." As opposed to looking for a good shot when there is no time left on the clock?

Granted, he could have just been protecting his player. But that looks unlikely after "the philosophy" was used this past season in a home game against Duke (BC lost... again)

Real Reason: Doing something incredibly stupid and then saying you are sticking to your guns. Very George Bush-like.

3) Coach Steve Merfeld (Hampton, 2001)

Recap: A No. 15 seed looking to knock off a No. 2 for the fourth time ever, Hampton led Iowa State by one with 6.9 seconds left (haha, 6.9...). After cruising into the lane, ISU's Jamaal Tinsley missed a game-winning layup: Hampton won 58-57.

This set off the wildest coach celebration in history. Merfeld skipped around the coach and, after being picked up by a player, kicked his arms and legs like a third-grade queer.

Real Reason: Even we have never lost our minds like this.

Preparing for takeoff....


(6) Glen Davis (LSU, 2006)

Recap: Just last week No. 4 seed LSU defeated No.1 seed Duke, 70-60, after completely shutting down J.J. Redick and the Blue Devils' offense. Then, Big Baby said on national TV and said the team was still hungry because they had tapeworms in their belly.

But what he did after really set himself apart from the competition: he put a feather boa around his neck and started posing like a limp-wristed gay model.

Real Reason: Like Magnum, this look must have taken forever to perfect. The result: the essence of beauty.

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